


My New Reason

by rainbowthefox



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Canon Relationships, Dancing and Singing, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Flirting, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Love Confessions, Mentions of Lee because what TWDG fic is complete without them, Musical Instruments, Nicknames, Not Canon Compliant, POV Alternating, POV First Person, Singing, Sleeping Together, Snowball Fight, Spoilers, Survivor Guilt, Swearing, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 21:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15849402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowthefox/pseuds/rainbowthefox
Summary: A random assortment of Louis and Clementine moments. (DISCONTINUED)





	1. New Feelings

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

I was having a lot of confusing thoughts lately. 

I wasn't ill or anything. I was fine, _healthy_ even. Until we came to Ericson's Boarding School, A.J. and I hadn't been eating or drinking regularly for weeks. We finally had people taking care of us; new friends, new _family_. So I wasn't bothered physically. Nothing really should be troubling me - I was just unsettled by the thoughts I've been having and everything that's come from it.

They were about Louis. 

I used to not think about him. The first day I met him, he felt like a stranger to me. But he was the first one I grew comfortable with, and he was the first to fully gain A.J.'s trust. I somehow felt like it was destined for us to meet him. In some weird way, we were kind of missing something before he came along. Or, at least something _had_ existed but wasn't very strong before. 

My thoughts all started back when we had our very first dinner at the boarding school. We sat down to eat, and A.J. practically inhaled his serving before everyone else finished theirs. Before I could insist to him that he could have no more, because we really didn't want to take advantage of these people sharing their food, Louis had given him his own serving without hesitation.

The look on my face was one I will never forget wearing.

I was so thankful. So appreciative. So... _touched_ by the kindness someone I just met could have. That someone I barely knew gave up their food for my boy. He insisted he'd have it, and **that** was the moment I felt a warm swelling in my chest. Something...that hasn't warmed for a long time.

It didn't end there, either. Louis kept humoring the both of us, and I later remembered how he treated A.J. He let him press the keys of the piano and kept him engaged while I was gone. And, I hadn't known at the time,(A.J. later confessed to me), but Louis had gone down and helped him back up when Marlon shoved him to the ground. He approached him from behind, and as my boy recalled, it was the first time he hadn't responded to out of fear. He felt safe, and trusted him. 

I did, too. That...was actually where these thoughts came from. 

I was first bewildered at the realization that someone could do all of this for two strangers. Someone in the midst of the apocalypse willingly sharing kindness and rations to someone who they didn't even know very well. I could firmly say that I would not have done the things Louis has done for us, but that doesn't mean I'm not appreciative of it. I'm... _more_ than that. I'm grateful. 

My thoughts turned from admiration to something else real quickly. The more I spent time with him, the more I realized I was thinking about Louis. I used to constantly think long-term for A.J. and I, making plans for the future and how we'll search for food and water. The longer I stuck around, the less I worried about those things. I was thinking more of today now, relishing the present more than the future. Exactly what Louis enlightened me of not too long ago. 

I found that enjoying my moment meant spending more time with him. I found more excuses to go with him to scavenge or set up traps(I've had more experience than ever with these things), and whenever I had the free time, he and I just talked. A.J. didn't mind having the time alone for himself. Sometimes he just stuck around with Louis and me, and every time he did, Lou would find a new way to make him laugh.

I mused a lot about their interactions at night. In a way, it felt like he was a father figure to A.J. More than his actual one had been...he had never really grown up with one besides Kenny, but I got the impression he didn't remember a lot about him. He'd been with me his whole life, and even I came to terms with being his maternal figure. He had yet to find a guy to relate to - and now I think his search had finally ended.

"I think I'm going nuts."

I mutter to myself, shaking my head as I shield myself under a tree. I watch as A.J. plays a game of tag with Tenn and Willy. I find my eyes searching around for him before I can stop myself - and I find Louis standing off to the side with Violet, chatting about who-knows-what. Judging by the look on her face, she seems to be annoyed with their conversation. I look away from both of them before that feeling could surface in my chest again.

I really _was_ going nuts. The last time I've had butterflies in my stomach looking at a guy was back when Gabe was around. And even then it was just a crush more than anything - I hadn't thought of him as much as I thought about Louis. And I certainly didn't spend as much time with him. I didn't know a lot about Gabe...whereas I was starting to know more about Lou. Sure, one looked better than the other, and one had one hell of a voice too, but the other had better hair. And he was a lot taller than Gabe ever was.

 _Why are you comparing them so much?_

That was a good question - why WAS I doing this? I knew I liked Gabe, but I was unsure of my feelings for Louis. He was starting to become a good friend...maybe even....

I stop my thoughts before they go any further. It was enough that they bothered me so much at night. He actually appeared in one of my _dreams_ because of how much I'd been thinking of him. I furrow my eyes and clench my fists, coming to my feet and approaching the two figures before I could even think about what I'm doing.

"Louis," My voice comes out more demanding than I intended. "I need to talk to you."

He notices my stern look and jumps, but the next moment he regains his composure and dramatically leans down in front of Violet. "It seems my princess desires my presence! I'll have to continue this talk later, Vi."

"Thank God." She rolls her eyes and gives me a thankful look. "You take him. He won't shut up about cantaloupes." 

He turns to point at her back. "-I would rather DIE to a bunch of walkers than eat another one of those god-damned- _ **OOF!**_ "

I drag him by the arm back to the tree I was resting under. He allows me to guide him before finally getting his balance back, all before I roughly take him to the side. I make sure we're far away from the others so no one can eavesdrop, but not out of A.J.'s sight. I mentally try to piece together how this conversation is going to go. 

"Princess?" Is the first thing I say, raising an eyebrow and crossing my arms. 

"Well, you call me your 'Prince Charming', so that should make you my princess, right?" He waits for my response but he doesn't get one. "Should I call you 'Cinderella', then?"

I'm tempted to flirt back, but I have to resist the urge. That was weird enough. I decide to be direct and learn forward. "Why are you so nice to A.J.?"

He's taken back by the question(he was probably expecting something else. ( _Doofus_ ), but answers it regardless. "Oh, uh, he's a nice kid."

"There's got to be more than that."

"He reminds me of me when I was his age." Louis grinned. "A troublemaker, but at heart, a good kid." 

"I can't argue with that." I relax myself. 

My eyes come across him and I forget about my surroundings. I start to count the freckles on his face and admire his jawline...something I normally didn't care about in people. My eyes just started to come to his collarbone when I notice he's looking at me, then I briefly look away. My cheeks warm and I start to feel goosebumps crawl up my arms. Here comes that tingly, warm sensation again....

"You seem surprised," He brings up after a moment. "You act like no one else has been good with A.J. before."

"That's because they haven't." I pause. "Or, at least he doesn't let them be...his father wasn't around and he hasn't had anyone besides me to look up to."

"What exactly happened to his dad?" He notices me tense. "If you _want_ to tell me, that is..." 

I go silent wondering if I should. It really wasn't any of his business; it wasn't _anybody's_. I swore not to tell anyone on Rebecca's behalf, but it's been so wrong keeping it from A.J. as it is...maybe someone else should know. Just to ease it from my mind. As big-mouthed as Lou was, I trusted him keeping these things to himself. 

"We're not exactly sure who his father is." I admitted. "He's named after Alvin because that's who his mother was with. But this man named Carver..." I shudder mentioning his name. "Let's just say he was NOT a good person. He, uh, had an...'encounter' with A.J.'s mom, and she got pregnant shortly after-"

"-So they assumed it was his, but because she was with Alvin, they named the baby after him and it's been known as theirs since?" 

He noticed my surprised look and shakes his head. "It's easy to piece together. I, uh... I can't imagine how that must be. A.J. must not know, huh?"

"No. I was thinking of telling him when he got older, but I don't know if I should mention it at all." I glance over to his figure playing with the others. "Alvin was a better man than Carver could ever be. I think it's better off having it this way."

He looks me over with a frown. "A lot of fucked up things has happened to you both, huh?" I weakly nod. "Makes sense he wouldn't let anyone in after all that time. Well, anyone besides _you._ "

"And that's what makes me really confused." I confess. "He let you in so easily compared to others who have tried to get close to him. He likes you. And we haven't known you as long." 

"What can I say? I've got natural charm. The kids love me." 

I can tell Louis is just being Louis, but he isn't wrong. I don't know a single kid here that doesn't like him. It's almost as if he's had experience with children...he knew the right things to say and do around them. I've known people who didn't know how to do that. It was hard getting A.J. to actually act like a kid for me, sometimes - yet he did it without thinking.

"....Either I have something on my face or you're staring at me a lot, Clem."

I didn't realize I'd been giving him a fond look, and blink repeatedly to snap myself back into reality. "What?" 

"I wish you'd just tell me because, y'know, Vi could've seen it and not say anything. Last thing she'd want to do is save me from embarrassment. I thought you cared more about me than that."

He started messing with his hair and I shake my head, chuckling to myself. Okay, that _was_ kind of cute. "You have nothing on your face." I pause before glance him over. "You look fine."

He gives a sigh of relief, but I don't want him to be _too_ comfortable yet. I go on my tiptoes and lean upwards to poke at the side of his cheek. "You _are_ missing a tooth, though."

He swats my hand away. "Tell me something I don't know, Princess."

"If you call me princess one more time, I'm going to kick you."

"If you're going to kick your Prince Charming, at least do it with your glass slipper, sweetheart."

Ignoring how my heart leapt for that last nickname(why the hell was he so good at them?), I lightly tap the side of my boot on his leg. He pretends as if it hurt him, clutching at his knee and giving me an obviously-fake pained look. " _Ouch!_ If you'd have kicked me any harder, Clem, I would've fallen for you!"

"Oh you would've, now?" I raise my eyebrow. He comes back up and winks at me, giving me a coy smile.

"Nah, I already _have_. I probably would've just landed in that patch of dirt behind you."

As I felt my chest tighten at those first few words, he leans closer to me and starts to come down. I widen my eyes and hold my breath - wondering if he was going to do what I thought he was going to do. Instead of reaching my lips, he brought up a hand and rubbed something off the side of my forehead.

"Oh, by the way, you had something here." 

I can feel the blush growing on my face as I watch him leave with my mouth agape. I gather enough courage to give him one last remark. " _Idiot_!" 

_"Still your Prince Charming!"_ He called back. I could still see the wink he gave me from so far away, and he strutted off. He must feel so cocky finally catching me off guard.

Swearing him off in my head, I turn on my heel and approach A.J. He must be done playing, because he now he was resting on one of the benches and looking at something. I turn and notice he was watching Louis leave through the front gates. I try to hide the blush again and I place my hands on my hips.

"Done playing tag, kiddo?" 

A.J. notices me and nods his head. "Yeah. It was fun." 

"Did anyone win?"

"Well, Willy did, but I'll do better next time." 

"Let's get you into a new set of clothes. You dirtied yours up."

He looks down and notices all the mud and grass stains, and doesn't hesitate to follow me into the building. When we enter out room, I start to go through A.J.'s clothes and picked out something new for him to wear. I'm going to have to clean these again sometime soon...

I listen as A.J. sits on the bed and watches me. I give him his clothes and he looks at it funny. I tilt my head to the side.

"What's wrong? You like your Disco Broccoli shirt still, right?"

"Yeah, I do." He took the pile from me slowly. "It's just...well..." His eyes made contact with mine. "Do you love Louis?"

The breath left my throat and I looked at him in surprise. I tried to regain my composure, wondering how A.J. could've asked a question like that at a time like this. I attempt to laugh it off. 

"What makes you say _that_?"

"You smile around him a lot. I haven't seen you do that around anyone else besides me before." He fidgets with his shirt. "And you two act more like a couple than friends...Tenn told me the difference."

"What did Tenn tell you?" 

"He told me how Violet and Minnie would have nicknames for each other and they'd sometimes touch their faces or hold each other really close. They laughed and smiled all the time. And, well, you do that a lot with Louis." 

"He's a funny guy," I defend.

"No, it's different. I know you. You love him - but you just won't admit it." 

I roll my eyes. "Change into your clothes already." 

He hops off the bed and goes towards the closet. He turns around to close the door and change real quick, but before he does, it holds it open and looks at me. I go to tell him to hurry up already, but he speaks before I could. 

"Because if you do...I'm okay with that. He makes me smile, too."

He closes the closet door after that, and I find myself staring at the floor thinking about what he's just said. I look outside the boarded-up window and listen to the voices in the courtyard. The moment I hear Louis', I feel my heart beat faster again and bite my lip. 

_That kid may know more about me than I do..._


	2. New Questions

**Louis' P.O.V.**

Things were uncomfortably quiet as we watched Clementine's figure disappear to the dorm rooms. Marlon gave us one last look before leaving to catch up with her. I could feel Violet's eyes burning holes into my skull, and I briefly shared the annoyance with a glare right back at her. 

"I can't believe you asked that," She said censoriously. I was used to this type of talk, but right now it just felt like she was stabbing me in the heart. It was already filled with regret after what had just happened. 

"She wanted me to ask! You guys did, too!" 

"Yeah, but I thought it was another stupid one of yours...like if she's ever kissed a guy." I could feel my fingertips burning as she spoke. "I know you **like** her, but some things...you just shouldn't ask right now." 

"Says the one who asked where A.J.'s parents were. I'm not the only one who got a little too _personal,_ Vi."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes, starting to leave the table. "I'm gonna' go to bed."

I was tempted to roll out something witty, but I didn't have the energy to. With defeat, I gathered up the rest of the cards and finished up the job with nothing left in me. I decided enough was enough for tonight and headed for my own room. 

The whole reason I even _started_ that game was to get to know Clem better. I knew nothing about her - and I wanted to change that. I had only one question I _really_ wanted to ask, anyway: if she had ever had a boyfriend. I wanted to know what my chances were...I already knew Violet had a crush on her, and I was getting the impression that she _may_ not be interested in a relationship...And, as opposed to what people  thought, I didn't want to keep making my move on someone who I knew I had no chance with.

Her reply was a relief. She at least was into guys, and she had feelings for one before('Dork' is a term of endearment, if you asked me). I felt relieved knowing that I still had some sort of chance. The rest of the game went a little smoothly, all until I won again and had to come up with another question to ask her.

It was a toughie. Something that shouldn't be imposed on someone I didn't really know. But something must've happened to her to become this hardened...I felt a similar way, once. At least I knew now that her past was as dark as I thought it was. Probably even darker, from what I don't know...Stuff I wasn't sure I _should_ know. 

As I just came to my room, I heard footsteps come from behind me. I wasn't exactly in the mood for company, but I mentally prepared myself to put on a cheerful face. I turned to see the familiar sight of my best friend and I mentally deflated. Marlon seemed a little happier than when I last saw him at the table, so he must've had a good talk with Clem. Probably apologized on my behalf. I regretted not doing that myself.

"Going to bed so soon, Lou?" He asked. 

"Yeah. I think it's best we all do." My voice was as guilty as I felt. 

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. I think we all asked some things we shouldn't have tonight." He placed his hands on his hips. "She isn't too worked up about it, if you're wondering. I was actually thinking of letting her stay here."

I perked up. "Oh, yeah?"

"Seems like she could help us around here. And A.J...that kid's something. I haven't seen a tot with that much bite before." He cringed at his words. "Uh...not _literally_ , of course."

"You should keep them here, man." I suggested. This news at least made me feel better. I grew a soft spot for A.J. ever since I watched him, and Clem...well...that would at least give me my chances to begin with. He must've noticed my change in posture and cocked his head to the side.

"Seems a little _more_ than that..." I frowned as he looked me over. "I think you like her."

"No, **really**?" I answered sarcastically. 

"So...what is it about her?" _Oh my god._ "We've only known her for a day and you're already making moves on her." _Marlon, please, stop..._ "'Ever had a boyfriend?' Really? You only ask that when you're interested, Lou." _MARLON!_ "I just want to know what makes her so special." 

"Isn't it a little late, man? We really should be getting to bed." 

He suddenly took a step towards me. I held in my breath as I listen to his next words, his sudden seriousness taking me off guard.

"Don't get too attached. I know you're all for the 'living in the moment' bullshit, but something like this can either make you or break you. And in a time like this, it'll break you." His look softens. "Just look at what happened with Violet and Minnie...she's never been the same since." 

"Yeah, but..." I find myself having a hard time looking for the positives. "If I have a chance to finally experience the _one_ good thing I have never felt in my life, then I'm taking it."

He hadn't been expecting that reply. His eyes widened and he shut his mouth. I can tell he wanted to know more but was holding himself back. Rolling my eyes, I nudged open my door and rested my body against the door frame, motioning inside my room with a wave of the hand.

"If you're going to keep judging me, then I'd rather you do it someplace I _already_ judge myself."

He chortled as he walked past me inside my room. "Whatever, man."

I quickly followed him from behind and carefully closed the door from behind me. My dorm room wasn't anything special - just one bed placed to the side surrounded by piles of things I really should clean soon. On my nightstand were a collection of photos and memories I'd decided to keep - and everything else on my walls were either maps or hunting plans or just posters and shit I kept after all these years. Everything was worn down.

I used to share my room with Marlon, but after being elected as leader after all the adults left, he moved to the office and bunked in there. I didn't mind having a room to myself; I liked having all the alone time in the world. Gave me lots of space to think of new jokes and shit...or deal with the intrusive thoughts that came with growing up. 

He took one step in before covering his nose and waving his arm in the air. "Aw, _dude_ , you really need to get your shit together. Smells like a skunk died in here." 

"And, apparently, like your hair."

Marlon gave me a look that could kill. "I thought you wouldn't bring that up."

I held my arms up in defense. "Just saying. Neither of us are spotless. Our rooms, our _selves_..what's the difference?"

He shook his head and looked away from me, deciding to rest on my bed and covered every inch of it with his body. I sat down on my chair, backwards(just like I did during the game), and prepared myself for the question extravaganza he'd be asking me tonight. It's been awhile since we've had a proper talk...Clementine and A.J.'s arrival just distracted us. Or nearly everyone, for that matter. 

"...So...you and Clem, huh?" He brought up. My cheeks burned and I chucked a nearby baseball at his head.

" ** _REALLY_** , man!?" 

He caught it ease and laughed, throwing it in my closet and practically breaking whatever I had in there. "Haha! Priceless! I haven't seen you like this ever since...well, _ever_." 

I tried my best not to flush, and I did good except for the fact that I felt my ears burning. Marlon noticed it but ignored it. He said nothing as he propped his head up with his arms on my bed and started whistling a tune. I watched him with a crossed look...I didn't exactly know where he was going with this. 

"You know, if I recall correctly, I don't think you've told me what's so special about her."

"Does there have to be a reason?" My response was too quick. "You've hooked up with girls you barely met."

"Yeah, but this is _different_. This is YOUR first girl." 

"She's **not** mine." 

"Well, she could be. I'm just saying; stranger things HAVE happened."

"What happened to all this 'don't get attached' bullshit?" I was starting to get a little agitated. "Now you're suddenly rooting for me?"

"Go ahead, call me on my bullshit, but I just like seeing you like this." He grinned cheekily. "You, flustered, over a girl...honestly, man, I know you're a flirt, but you usually just shrug this shit off." 

"She means more to me."

"Obviously." He snorted. "C'mon, we're...y'know, bros. I'd like to know why you're into her." 

I sighed and finally fessed up. This would go nowhere if I didn't. "I don't know, man, with someone like Ruby around all the time so insistent on manners and shit, it's just nice to see a girl have the decency to belch like we do. And she kicks walker ass better than we can."

"No shit. I heard she saved Aasim's life."

"I don't know, she's decisive and doesn't take crap from anyone. I just like that." My heart was going a thousand miles per hour. "But I...you know....she's-"

"-Hot?"

"I wouldn't say **that**."

"Then what _would_ you say?"

"....Cute."

"I like 'hot' better."

I looked at him with severe disapproval, tsking him lightly. "Your taste in women has not changed, I see." 

"It's not like it matters anyway. Bro code says she's all yours, bud." He sat up in my bed and rested his arms on his knees. "She's one hell of a fighter, though."

"And if she ever heard you called her hot, she'd probably shove your balls up your throat, dude."

He laughed, but it was cut short as he looked at me sternly. "-But, uh, seriously, dude...don't let it become too big of a deal. Love just causes trouble in the apocalypse. And the last thing I think she needs is you clinging onto her arm. She's already got a kid."

"Hey, she said she's liked someone before. She can give it a chance again, right?"

He looked around my room contemplatively before meeting with my eyes again. My smile dropped once I saw how serious he was. I must've came off to hopeful. I clench my teeth as I wait for what he's going to say, already knowing it won't be good. 

"...What if she doesn't like you?" He asked me carefully. 

I swallow. A little too hard. "Then you can't say I didn't try, right?" I laugh weakly. 

Marlon can tell the question unsettled me and decided to call it a night, standing up and giving me a firm pat on the back. I didn't bother saying anything as I listened to him leave the room, and once the door was closed, I sat there in silence alone with my thoughts and the uneasiness our conversation left me with. 

I get up out of my chair only when I hear footsteps down the hall, and start to shrug my trench coat off and place it on the back of the chair. I go to the bed and let myself fall in the mattress - the comfortable confines of my own quarters. I stare the ceiling until all I hear are the crickets outside. It's actually nice - I could feel a cool breeze settling from the cracks of the boarded up window. 

At first, I try to think about what else has happened today, in an attempt to forget what Marlon brought up. But no matter what I thought about, my mind went back to Clementine. Again and again. Even when I rephrased my argument with Vi, where I _obviously_ had the upper hand, I just found myself thinking about Clem's face and everything she answered tonight. 

I eventually came to the point where I was mentally arguing with myself. 

_You know, he brought up a good point._

What's that? 

_What if Clem DOESN'T like you?_

Well, let's not go down THAT route, brain....

_I'm serious. You'd be such a liability to her. You saw her face. She's stiff._

Maybe she just needs to appreciate life.

_Why the fuck did you ask her if she killed someone she loved? Are you some kind of idiot?_

You know what, yes I am.

_You'll never be HER idiot._

I'm my own idiot.

_Why do you even like her so much?_

At that point, I was digging my hands in my hair. I found myself so stressed that I had to relax myself, sitting up in my bed and taking in a deep breath of air. I didn't like overthinking, and I especially didn't like beating myself up. I know I'm a screw up - fuck, I proved THAT tonight - but I can move on so easily. That was my best _quality_! 

My doubtfulness went on for the rest of that night, but by the time I woke up in the morning, I had already forgotten what kept me up. I decided to dedicate a certain part of my day with Clem - see if I really _was_ that into her as I'd been leading myself. And if I was, **hell**...

I was practically _hers_.


	3. New Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****DO NOT READ THIS NOTE OR THE CHAPTER IF YOU'RE WANTING TO AVOID TWDG SPOILERS. I SUGGEST READING THIS AFTER YOU'VE PLAYED THE NEWEST EPISODE.*****
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> Sooooooo..... _yeah_. The new update was released, which means that almost everything in this fic was debunked by canon. :") Not as if I expected it to be, I was trying to be close-TO-canon as much as possible, but now it just feels....weird, seeing the things I wrote.
> 
> But you know what? I really loved the recent ep. Louis' reaction was understandable and practical, James is awesome, A.J. + the Disco Broccoli outfit is adorable, Lily's return is interesting, and LOUIS AND CLEM FINALLY GOT TO KISS. **GOD.** YOU HAVE _NO_ IDEA HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES ME. And that "I missed you" thing??? GOD. Louis staying at A.J. side while he healed??? OH GOD....I really adore Violet, but I couldn't bring myself to romance her after how adorable Louis and Clem's confessions were to each other....I died, ya'll.
> 
> Because I absolutely love (almost)everything in the new update, I will be integrating it apart of this fic. I'll be deleting the last one(don't worry, I'll make up for it), but from now on, I'm not going to worry too much about canon. What? (Enter situation here) didn't happen? You're right, but it's cute, so it's here. Don't sue me. :P
> 
> Also, I'm REAL sorry for the LONG wait for this chapter. My life is so hectic, I'm busy, having problems, but...the update really helped me. Feel better and brought me back into that Clouis mood, if you know what I mean? ;) Again, I apologize for the short chap, but I WILL be making more! And hopefully at a better schedule! So expect the frequent updates again...
> 
> As a side note, this fic will be centered around my own decisions and Clem - which means, yes, you bet your ass I chose to save Louis. And my Clem never got her first kiss with Gabe, so Louis was her first! I'll be tackling that in a future chap, obviously....

**Louis' P.O.V.**

"Not again....not _fucking_ again..."

I was left speechless at the sight of Clementine pulling at her brown hair, drawing herself slowly back. She did something that left me numb and aching in every part of my body. She took off her hat and concealed her face, letting out quiet yet audible cries from inside. My frown deepened as I watched her, clenching my teeth to stop myself from shaking. It felt like something crumbled inside of me, seeing her so vulnerable instead of the strong, authoritative figure I've often seen. 

I did nothing as I watched A.J. kneel beside her, placing his hand softly on her shoulder. He looked troubled, but nowhere near as unsettled as I was. "It's gonna' be okay, Clem. We'll get them back. _All_ of them."

She stopped momentarily, wiping her tears with her sleeve. "A.J..." She dropped her head in defeat and continued to cry. 

The word left my lips in a whisper. "Clementine..." 

"Come on, what do we do when we're sad?" He continued. 

He had a hopeful smile, but seeing her remain unmoved, it dropped. He looked to me for help. The look on his face sunk my heart even further, and I was obligated to come forward and kneel down to her height. I could still hear her crying, and it takes a lot to manage a hopeful tone.

"Hey," I started. I bit my lip, figuratively swearing at myself for being so lame. "A.J.'s right. It's gonna be okay. With you here, we can-"

"Louis." 

If her voice hadn't stopped me completely, it was how quickly she got off from that ground and clung onto me. She shoved her head onto my shoulder and began to sob, grabbing at the lapels of my trench coat and bringing me closer to her. I had no other reaction than to lay my hand on her back and use the other to comb the bangs out from her face. Once I could see the tears flowing from her eyes, I held her.

"It's alright," I assured her in a whisper. "I'm here." 

I glanced up from her figure to see A.J. watching us in awe. He looked concerned, but fascinated. It occurred to me that he wasn't there when Clem and I confessed to each other. The way she was holding me, digging her nails into my coat and letting her tears drop onto my skin, was obvious. He said nothing and came to Clem's side, watching the both of us in worry.

"This always happens," She finally confessed. "It _always_ does..."

"What happens?" I asked her. 

"Shit happens. No matter where I go, things always get worse...there's not a place I can be where people don't die. Or get taken." 

"Clem, that's-"

"They almost got _you_." Her grip tightened. "I couldn't let them take you. Not someone I...I..." Her voice faded. Her throat must've been too dry to finish.

She started to sob. Low enough that only I could hear. I sat there like the awestruck idiot I was. I didn't know where to begin in this situation. I've seen her through tough shit; a LOT of tough shit. But she never broke. That was the confidence and strength I admired about her...something I could never get myself. But I didn't expect to witness her like this...actually crying, which she hadn't seemed to do for a long time.

And she was crying on _me_.

I wanted to ask some more, console the girl that was holding onto me for dear life. But..I couldn't. I didn't want to ruin whatever trust she put into me now. I was positive she wouldn't let anyone else, besides A.J., to see her like this. I moved my hand to the back of her head and brought her forehead closer, laying a firm kiss on its surface. 

As I removed myself, I found her looking up at me. Her eyes were all moistened and red...it hurt just to see her like this. I substituted the pain by giving her a genuine smile, rubbing her cheek carefully. She got goosebumps; I could feel them under my fingers. 

"If you never came here, I wouldn't have found someone like you." I confessed. 

I didn't realize I was bringing her closer to myself until I found her lips just a few inches away from mine. I hesitated, not wanting to take advantage of how vulnerable she was right now. But she went forward and kissed me anyway, the both of us prolonging it more than our last one. I pulled way only to wipe the tears from her eyes. I offered her a smile, despite the chaotic mess that surrounded us. She returned it, and I was so busy staring at her eyes that I hadn't noticed A.J. waving his hand in the background.

 _"Whoa!"_ When we looked over, he had a gigantic smile on his face. "You guys kissed!"

"...We did..." Clementine muttered, wiping her face with her wrist and putting her hat back on. "A.J., can you check up on Willy? Make sure he's doing okay?"

He looked upset being sent away so soon, but nodded regardless. "Okay..."

As we watched his figure disappear, I took this advantage to lay another joke. It looked like she stopped crying, so I had to take the change to lighten the mood before something else happened. I desperately wanted to see her okay again, not crying or breaking down like this anymore. I longed for her smile; the times I could make her laugh and feel better.

"If you just wanted to be alone with me, Clem, you could've just-"

"What I'm about to say is really, really important, so please be quiet..."

I had no other choice but to shut my mouth. She rested her head just below my collarbone and squeezed her eyes shut. I felt her stiffen and watched as she clenched her fists. I held my breath, patiently waiting for whatever was about to come out of her mouth...

"I don't want to lose you, Louis. Okay? I know we just admitted our feelings hours ago, but...anytime I ever get close to someone, they just....die." She swallows. "And if you want to get serious about this-"

"--I do--" 

"-I need you to promise me you aren't going to do anything stupid." She said seriously. "Even if it's to impress me or just make a joke, a second of distraction is all it takes...I'm not saying you have to change, but for the rescue mission we're about to go on, I need your promise that you'll be careful." 

"You really care that much about me, huh?"

She looked up at me slowly, the look in her eyes confirming her answer. She nods anyway, her eyebrows knitting together in concern. The ends of my mouth quivered as I ran my thumbs across her cheeks. I was tempted to cry, but I had to gather every ounce of my self control to not let any tears fall. I was lucky enough to finally find someone who liked me for who I was, but her not wanting to lose me was...something else entirely. 

I swallowed. Hard. "Okay. I promise." 

She smiled and laid another kiss on my cheek. By this point I could feel the sweat gathering from underneath my clothes. My heart hammered in my chest as she looked at me. I haven't felt this nervous since...well, hours ago, when I she told me she like _liked_ me. Just by this promise I gave her, she seemed okay. My breath caught in my throat just by listening to how sincere her next words came out. 

"Thank you. I just don't want to lose anyone close to me. Not again."

"You won't," I assure her. "I can say the same thing for you, Clem. I...I thought you were _dead_ just weeks ago."

"Well, I'm glad I didn't die."

Her gentle yet somehow morbid answer unsettles me. "Well, it's not that I think anything could ever _kill_ you, but it's like you said...you can never be too careful." 

The deaths that have happened this month alone speak for me. We sit there in silence, both looking at each other in some concern and hesitation, before Clem comes forward and wraps her arms around me. I find we're hugging before I can fully grasp the situation, and hold her closer by bringing my arms around her back. It feels so nice to finally be touching her, _holding_ her.

She starts talking, but doesn't break out of the embrace. "A.J. is all I have. He's my family. And I'd like it if you were, too." 

"We can all be, once we get them back." 

"What if no one else makes it?" 

"Then," I hesitate, not wanting to imagine such a drastic outcome. God, was it even possible I'd lose EVERYBODY? Everybody but... _her_? "...Then we'll be family, you, me, and A.J."

She grabs me tighter, taking in a sharp breath. "Louis, you...you have _no_ idea how much that means to me..."

"If it's as much as YOU mean to ME, then it's probably a lot." 

She held me the tightest I've ever been held. Everything was urging me to smile, so I did. I normally didn't like making long-term promises, as I strove to live for the moment, but...I couldn't think of a moment without A.J. and Clementine. The hours they were gone, it was insufferable. A life with them would be better than living with the remorse that came from everything that had happened here. 

From therein, it was sealed. We were family. 


	4. New Skill

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

"Shit." 

The words left his lips seconds before the arrow passed the wall and landed somewhere outside of the school. I noticed the way he grimaced before he ever shot it. It was starting to get painful watching Louis attempt to hit the target on the tree. It was even worse listening to him swear himself out after every attempt, grabbing the arrows with more exertion than usual.

After watching the 18th arrow land nowhere near the target, I decided to join him. He saw me as he was removing one of them from the tree, shredding some of the bark off as he obtained one that landed just below the board. I offered him a smile of hope, noticing he looked defeated more than usual.

"I think that's the closest one you've managed." I pointed out. 

"Here to make fun of me already?" 

His tone was playful as usual, but I could still sense he was exhausted just from his posture. I quipped along anyway, hoping to do the same thing he did for me and make light of the situation at hand.

"Well, Prince Charming, I _think_ we had 24 arrows before your session today." I glanced over to the wall. "I wonder where the other 6 went?" 

"They were stabbed into my heart relentlessly and have refused to budge since," He placed his hand over his chest dramatically. "Your words - they're but salt in my wounds." 

I rolled my eyes. He was just hiding his embarrassment. I had to admit one thing: he was still pretty damn cute. He took my silence as a cue to finish picking up the rest of the arrows. I helped by gathering the few that landed to the side and brought them to him promptly.

"If you want," I started, watching carefully as he grabbed them from my hand. "I can help you."

"And give you a chance to make fun of my _amazing_ archery skills?" 

I put my hand on my hip and grinned. "If I wanted to make fun of you, I would've done it the first time I saw you miss the target, you know." 

"Good point."

He offered me the bow by bending down and extending his other arm out, as if he was giving me a gift from the Gods. "Oh, teach me, _wise one_."

Physically fighting the blush that threatened to spread to my face, I took it from his hands right away. Holding the bow, even though I had done so many times now, gave me a certain guilt I could never overcome. I tried to remember how Marlon looked wielding this thing - perfect precision, stance, and everything. He was a damn good shot, after all. 

I nudged Louis so he was aligned with the target. "Because I care about you and don't want to hurt your feelings, I'll be brief."

"When are you not?"

"Your stance keeps shifting every time you shoot an arrow. You need to know where to place your feet, otherwise you won't be balanced." I stood the way I usually did whenever I practiced archery. "Try standing like this."

He copied me. Almost perfectly. His foot was misaligned only slightly, and with a gentle nudge from my boot, I got it into position. 

"Good. Stay here."

I grabbed a pair of long sticks I found nearby and placed them below Louis in a t-position. He watched me with a dumbfounded expression, and I half expected him to make some stupid comment, but to my surprise, he remained completely silent. Which was good because I didn't have the time to deal with his nonsense right now. 

"These are so you know you're consistent. This stick is pointed at the target...your foot should follow that direction, and the other needs to stay on the end right there."

"Sounds easy enough." He chimed. 

I gave him a look and handed him the bow. He took it and I supplied him with an arrow. I watched as he placed it and looked at me for confirmation. I studied his form and noticed something right away. 

"Your elbow." I tapped it with my hand. "You need to rotate it up and down while you're shooting the arrow. So your body will be properly aligned." 

He hesitated. "Uh..."

"Here."

I went forward and properly rotated it. He didn't squirm or make any motion of protest, which was good. The last thing I wanted was for him to end up with a bruised elbow. As soon as he was properly aligned, I gave him my satisfaction through a smile.

"There. And your hook is perfect, by the way. You know where to put your fingers." 

"That's the one thing Marlon taught me," He stated proudly. 

"But your anchor point is shit."

" _Damn!_ I don't even know what that means, but it still hurts."

"Don't worry, a lot of people get this wrong." I went on my tiptoes so I could reach his face. "Because you're taller than me, you should probably anchor it below your chin. Keep it that way every time you shoot the arrow, so they'll go in the same direction."

I moved the bowstring so it rested just underneath his chin. My fingers barely scraped his cheek as I did this, and for some reason, I had the urge to caress it again. I don't know what suddenly enthralled me about his freckled face or how smooth his skin felt, but I had problems withdrawing myself from him as I took a step back.

"G-Go for it." 

He gave me a look, but shrugged it off as he aimed at the target. He did just as I told him to - kept his stance, used his anchor point, and aimed carefully. He released the string and shot the arrow, which landed, shockingly, on the target. It wasn't perfect, but it was an improvement. His whole face lit up, a lot like A.J.'s did when he first heard him play piano. 

"Holy shit!" 

I crossed my arms teasingly. "Yeah...you'd have earned a bronze." 

He looked back at me, jaw opening and closing in awe at what I just said. I could feel my cheeks warm at that look, and finished my thought with difficulty.

"Well, you know, that _could've_ been a lucky shot."

" _Au contraire_ \--"

He shot another arrow, keeping everything consistent, and managed to hit the bull's-eye effortlessly. Even my jaw dropped in utter astonishment. _This_ suddenly coming from same guy who couldn't even hit a _tree_ a few minutes ago? 

"--I just learned from the best." 

I regained myself and crossed my arms again, tauntingly taking a step forward. "-And what would you have said if you **missed**?"

"Don't care. I just wanted to see your smile." 

_Oh, my god..._

He winked at me and turned back, practicing his shots. They were much better than last time. Now I could hear them actually _hitting_ the wood. I watched Louis train with admiration. It's the same pride I felt when I first taught A.J. how to shoot a gun, the same warm feeling my chest the moment I saw him hit the target...

I didn't want to distract him, so I remained quiet. It was only when he started to screw up that I had to speak up. He missed 4 arrows in a row, compared to the now-10 that were situated on the board. I gave him a look as I went to his side, putting my hand on my hip in disappointment. 

"What happened? You were doing pretty good." 

He slumped his shoulders in defeat and looked at me with troubled eyes. "I don't know...I just feel so distracted all of a sudden."

"With what?" I asked.

" _You._ "

I cocked an eyebrow. "What? Do you need me to step back?" 

"No, it's just--" He bit his lip and looked back at the target. "I keep getting the urge to look at you. I just wanted to make sure you were still watching, but now I realize..."

He shot another arrow and successfully got some of the bark off of the tree, but landed in the bushes somewhere instead. He looked back at me frowning, somehow looking completely heartbroken. It tugged at my heart. I hadn't seen him so disappointed before...As I opened my mouth to comfort him, assure him that he'd get it right next time, his next words swept me off my feet. 

"You're just so gorgeous, I can't take my eyes off of you."

Then, he grinned. Cheekily. Any ounce of pity I felt for him vanished as I hit the side of his arm. I did it gently, but I still wanted him to know that pissed me off. Why the hell was he playing with my feelings now, of all times? 

"Louis! You _ass!_ I thought there was something wrong!" 

"There is!" He held his arms up and I stopped. "You need to stop distracting me with your good looks, Clem! I can't afford anymore distractions!" 

I rolled my eyes and gave up, clenching my jaw. The only way to get back at him was to play along, I guess. 

"I've just decided: your bronze medal is revoked. Now you got 4th place." 

"Technically, I wasn't competing for anything. I already got you." He flashed his smile again. "And, c'mon, let's be honest, a gold medal would look like a piece of _dirt_ next to _you_."

"Louis..."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop..." He took a deep breath. "Seriously, though. Thanks for that. I needed it a lot, I'm guessing." 

He glanced back at the target. He looked proud with what he had accomplished. I was proud, too. 

"Who taught you archery, anyway?" He suddenly asked. "'Cause, like, I have NEVER seen you miss. Or if were you just born a natural badass, I'd totally believe it."

"Little bit of both." I grinned. "It's important for survival. You learn what works and what doesn't. But I've had help from people. Learned what they did wrong so I could do it right." 

"I guess you had a refresher after watching me, huh?"

I let myself to laugh. "Yeah...that's exactly why I helped you. Because it would suck if my boyfriend doesn't know how to shoot a bow and arrow."

"Hey, I know how to _shoot_. I just wasn't doing it very _well_."

I closed my eyes and tittered. It was difficult to keep a straight face around him, sometimes. I was relieved he learned something from our lesson. Hopefully he'll put it to use someday, just like I did saving him from those raiders...And as a plus, the target practices weren't so bad. I was still up-to-date with my aim, but Louis was great company. 

Well, maybe that was an _understatement_...

I noticed he was packing up the equipment and briskly headed over to his side. I still had some things on my mind; questions that came from teaching him all of this. It was important for me to know, at least. 

"Can you shoot a gun?" 

My question must've been too forward. He flinched at the word, probably because of the memory associated with it...I held my breath as he shriveled his eyebrows. I could tell what the answer was. Everyone had the same hesitation. But he responded anyway.

"Me? No. Not exactly a...'gun' guy." 

"Why?" 

"I'm up for killing walkers, but a hit to the head is all it takes, most of the time." I suddenly pictured him clubbing walkers with _chairles_. "Plus, there weren't any guns around for us to use. If there had been, the adults must've took them when they left." 

"So you're saying you've never shot a gun?" 

"No."

I looked at the ground in thought. I've been so used to seeing everyone here using different weapons; knives, bows & arrows, chair legs...It occurred to me that there must've been no adults around to teach them. It made sense. All they really had to worry about were the walkers - beyond Marlon's secret deals - so using anything else was all they needed. I let out a slight hum as I tapped my fingers on the sleeve of my jacket. 

"Would you like to learn?" I offered. I noticed he tensed and uncrossed my arms. "Not now, but in the future..." 

He clenched his teeth and sucked the air. "I...don't know. The only gun we have here is, well, _yours_. Or, um, A.J.'s." 

I opened my mouth to inquire why that was an issue, but shut it instantly. That was A.J.'s gun now, and he used it to kill Louis' best friend. I could understand why he wouldn't want to learn with that gun. But it was the only one we'd have for a long time. And I'd seriously prefer it if Louis learned...for the sake of my life, A.J.'s, and his. 

"I know it's hard, to use something like that after...what happened." I took a shaky breath. I hoped this wouldn't upset him. "But when it comes down to your own life, or someone's you care about, you don't really have a choice."

He didn't say anything. I mentally panicked.

"Don't you, though?" He said slowly. "It's one thing to aim it at rotting walker guts, but when you're pointing it at someone who's pleading for their life, then it's another. Isn't it?"

"Louis, I promised not to lie to you. So trust me on this...there are people who don't deserve that choice. There are horrible people out there that will make the same decision without any consequence. People like Lily. And if you don't save yourself from them, then they will take your life. No hesitation." 

I drew my gaze back at him slowly. "-How will you keep the ones you love around if you aren't willing to protect them?"

...

"... _Fuck,_ Clementine." 

Without a word, his arm came around me and he moved me closer to him. I rested my head on him and closed my eyes, listening to his heartbeat. It was faster than it usually was. That was probably my fault - inflicting something so serious like this onto him. I didn't mean to bring up Marlon in any way. 

"You know, I was expecting a simple archery lesson, not something that'll give me an existential crisis." 

"I'm serious. If you ever want to shoot a gun, I can-"

"You will, you will." He assured me and sighed. "I just...need some more time before I can hold, you know, **that**."

"I understand. In the meantime, we can practice with these bows and arrows. It'll probably help with your aim, anyway."

I pulled back just in time to see him giving me a thankful smile. I could see him switch into his normal 'Louis' mode, the smile growing on his face faster than I could react. 

"C'mon, my aim is _totally_ not the problem. You just have an incurable disease of being so beautiful, that it's so strong it's distracts me. That's the only logical explanation as to why I am missing these targets."

"Okay, come on, archery-know-it-all. Let's head back inside."

"I think you mispronounced _'love of your life'_."

"No, I didn't."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you SO MUCH for the 100+ kuddos and 1,300+ reads! Also thanks to the 8 people who bookmarked this - this all means a lot! I'm glad you all are enjoying my story.
> 
> However, if it's not too much to say, **would you mind telling me what you LIKE about this story in particular?** Because I'll be honest - 1 comment on a story with over 100 kuddos and 1,000 reads is probably the worst ratio I've ever had. It's not as if I'm totally relying on comments, I just really, REALLY love Clouis/Louisentine, but I ALSO really love hearing from you guys. I've gotten the most insightful, personal comments over on fanfiction.net - and it makes my day every time I read them. :) I'd just appreciate it, is all.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the quick update. Trying to make it up to you all while I can.


	5. New Song

**Louis’ P.O.V.**

“Alright, what do you want me for _now_ , Louis?”

I could hear the lack of enthusiasm as loud as her footsteps, and grinned coyly as I turned in my seat. I saw Clementine in all her glory; standing with her arms crossed, eyes narrowed, and her foot tapped against the ground impatiently. It was perfect - everything I expected it to be. Already planning what was to go down this sunny afternoon inside the music room, I greeted her by dipping my head down.

“It’s an honor you’ve blessed me with your presence, Master Clem.” I was tempted to bow down but that’d just be overdoing it. “I assure you, this _won’t_ be a waste of your time.”

“Not like there’s much of it to waste. I just finished lookout duty.”

 _Even better!_ I though to myself. I lifted my head and beamed, patting the spot beside me in front of the piano. I was practicing before she headed in, leaving a scribbled note on her backpack telling me to meet me here just a half hour ago. I expected her not to come at all, so her presence was a relief.

I could see the exhaustion in her eyes as she plopped down beside me, resting her hands in her lap and looking at me in irritation. Not that it mattered - I’d have that frown wiped off her face and replaced with a smile if things went right. Which I hoped they _would_.

“I’ve been thinking – and no, not dangerously –” She rolled her eyes as I continued. “About our little lesson the other day. You know the one.”

“Where you kept attacking a defenseless tree with your poor aiming?” She asked.

“My archery practice. Anyway, I’m really grateful you did that for me. I want to teach you something of my own that I know.”

I went forward and tapped the top of the piano with my hand. She followed it and bit her lip. I could sense - no, I could **feel** her hesitation. And I expected that to happen. Before she could refuse, I leaned forward and took her hand. I thought she’d sucker punch me in the face and I’d have been wiped out clear on the floor by now, but she froze instead.

“Give it a chance?” I pleaded. “I saw the way you and A.J. lit up the day we met. You two could use a lot more music in your lives…I think we all could.”

She looked at me for a long time, glancing ever so often between our hands and my face. I got self-conscious wondering if I was blushing. And like the naive idiot I was, I let go of her hand. She turned from me and looked around, her features changing as she registered the keys.

“I…don’t know.” She answered uncertainly. “How long does it take to learn piano?”

“Well, if you’re a naturally skilled musician like me, it shouldn’t take too long.” I winked at her. I could see a slight blush forming on her cheeks and mentally cheered. _Got her._

“It’s just…I’ve never tried playing an instrument before. It’s hard to find any in good shape nowadays.” She ran her hand lightly along the keys. “That, and I haven’t found a place where the noise won’t attract the walkers.”

“Then consider this OUR space. A safe space.” I clarified. “You can take your time practicing to play, and if any walkers come, I’ll kick their asses. Sounds fair, right?”

I heard her snort. The noise did wonders to my heart. “You’re so cute, it’s dumb.”

She still thought I was cute? It surprised me when she first called me that, and here I was still unsure of how to respond. I fidgeted with the ends of my sleeves for a second, wondering whether I should return the compliment or move on. I can’t ruin the moment now that she’s here with me…

“You know what?”

Her voice snapped me back into reality, and I had to blink a few times to realize I even spaced out. I felt like such an idiot. She began to press the keys randomly.

“I think I want to learn the song you wrote. _Clementine_.”

“You-You do?”

“Seems simple enough. You wrote it, and it means a lot to me.”

I stared at her, shocked that she’d want to learn MY song. Out of everything else she could learn…she wanted to know something I wrote. I mustered the courage to smile, grinning more than usual as my hand went back onto the keys.

“Are you sure you don’t want to learn the other song?” I leaned towards her. “You know…my darlin’?”

“Nope.” She shook her head. “I want to know yours.”

Well, there goes my plans. I was going to secretly teach her _‘My Darlin Clementine’_ and sing the lyrics once she played it correctly so she could push me off the seat when she realized what I did, but this might be better. I could still teach her some basics, too. I felt satisfied with this thought and started playing the song I’d grown to love after this past week.

I watched her listen in the corner of my eye. She looked so peaceful hearing it; gently bopping her head as her hazel eyes watched me perform. She was smiling, but very softly. My eyes unconsciously scanned over her lips, remembering how delicate they felt when she kissed me only weeks ago on this bench. And the other times we’ve kissed after that.

“Hey, it sounds a little different. Are you playing it right?”

**_Fuck._**

I realized I’ve been playing the wrong keys once she pointed it out. I deliberately went over what to say in my head, praying I wouldn’t become the bashful idiot I was whenever someone found me screwing up. What could I say? _'Sorry, I was staring at your lips and thinking about kissing them?’_ That was a guaranteed gut punch from her. No question. 

“-aaaaand you passed!” I clasped my hands together. “Step 1: Know the song. You knew I was playing it wrong because you memorized the sounds. Perfect. I’d give you a gold star if I could.” 

I avoided looking at her as I cleared my throat, placing my fingers over the keys again and sitting up straight. I could hear her giggling from beside me. I ignored the burning sensation in my throat and chest as I started to play, my fingertips tingling with every note. I knew damn well I was blushing, which was why I tried not to face her at all. 

“This is how you play it  correctly,” I emphasized. 

She said nothing, but I knew she was watching. I finished the song and turned to her, only to find she had her eyes glued to me. At least she’d been attentive - the song only took a few minutes to play. She noticed I was done and started looking between me and the piano. 

“It was beautiful,” She said. 

“I think that’s because it was named after a beautiful girl.” 

My grin widened seeing her blush, and she tipped her head away so I couldn’t see it. But I did. I meant every word, even if she just thought I was fucking around. She eventually looked back at me with the biggest smile I’d ever seen from her, minus the time she told me she had a crush on me. 

“You can be such a weirdo, you know that?” 

“Yeah, but I’m a weirdo that can make you **smile**.” 

She brushed a strand of hair out from her eye. She wasn’t trying to hide her blush anymore – or if she was, she was doing a horrible job. I began our lesson by telling her which keys were what. She came so close to me that our knees were touching, and it stayed that way the entire lesson. 

————————- 

“Think you’re ready to play?” 

She looked uncertain and so unready, eying me with weariness I’d only seen from her when our lives were at stake. She had her hands placed on the piano, tapping the keys in thought. I went through everything necessary(and a little more) surrounding the song and she seemed to get it, for the most part. Now it was just a matter for her first attempt. 

“I think so.” She got into position and sighed. “Promise me you won’t make a stupid comment or laugh if I mess up?” 

“I’m insulted you’d even _insinuate_ that.” 

“It’s something you’d do.” 

“Okay, fine. I promise I won’t laugh or say anything if you mess up on a song I spent two weeks making and named after you. No pressure.” 

I lifted my hands up and gave her the signal to start playing. She gave me one last look before turning back to the piano I waited eagerly for her to start, and she dove right in. The tune filled the room. Before I knew it, I was listening to the same song I created being played right back at me. 

There was something entrancing about Clementine playing the piano. She wasn’t at all artistically expressive like I was. No, she played every note as if she had to. You may as well have had someone pointing a gun at her head and her expression wouldn’t change. I wondered if she was even interested in playing at all - but when she stopped and turned to me, she had a look of wonder hidden somewhere inside her smile. 

“Am I doing this right?” 

I wasn’t even paying attention to the song. “Yup. You’re a real pro.” 

“You’re just saying that.” 

“You’d know if you messed up.” 

She dipped her head in my direction, which translated to _'point taken’_. She continued playing the rest of the song and I listened. It resembled closely to mine, not exactly the same, but she had the gist of it. When I looked at her, she was smiling, and watching herself play the keys. With such confidence that one would have no idea it was her first time playing. 

“If I remember right, this was about the moment you came in the room.” I said, my voice barely louder than the song. She didn’t stop playing but her pace became slower. 

“Oh, yeah. I think it was.” 

“It’s funny; the same night you told me you had a crush on me was the very first night I performed this very song.” 

“It was also the same night we got attacked by raiders.” 

“–Focusing on the  positives here–” I gave her a look. “That was also the night I gave it a name. I guess you could say…” 

I swallowed, finding it somehow difficult to get my next few words out. I looked at her slowly and found her eyes on me, looking confused. I barely had the courage to finish. My chest tightened as I did. 

“…It’s _our_ song?” 

By this point she had stopped playing and had her attention directed to me. There was a moment of silence after I finished that thought, and I regretted even saying anything. But then she smiled again, played the last few notes, and rested her hand on top of the initials we carved together. 

“I guess it is.” She agreed. 

We looked at one another and held the same look, filled with affection we both matched. I was tempted to kiss her again, but I had other things on my mind. She scooted closer to me and I licked my lips, my own hand coming to feel the initials on the wood. 

“I’m really glad you wanted to learn this song.” I admitted. “There wasn’t anything special about it…I wrote it to get my thoughts together. While we secured the perimeters and shit. I didn’t know what to do with it but I wanted you to hear it. Felt like I owed you something for all the bullshit I pulled on you and A.J. Now when I listen to it, all I can remember is hearing that you like-liked me.” 

I smirked at the memory. This song was holding a lot of good ones, it seemed. How ironic - I wrote it in frustration and grievance of what had happened, but now it was a song that reminded me of my girlfriend. In a world of the apocalypse, filled with flesh-eating walkers, life somehow found a way to be good. 

“You know what _I’m_ really glad about?” 

“What?” 

“I met you here. Playing the piano. Singing and watching A.J. for me.” She played some of the keys. “Now it’s the same spot I told you my feelings, and you told me yours. We carved our initials here.” She pointed back to the heart. “Not only do we have a song, but we have a spot, too.” 

I went into semi-panic mode, because this was the second time I’ve ever witnessed Clementine being romantic. The first being when she, well, confessed, but now it felt…weird. But a **good** kind of weird. All my life I’ve been the laid-back, joking guy that everyone could make fun of. And I let that happen. But hearing something like this was…it was _nice_ , to say at the least. 

“I’m not bullshitting you when I say that I really, _really_ like your voice. The first time you sang to me, it was…” She made vague gestures with her hands. “It was incredible. I’ve just never heard anyone _sing_ like you have. Like we were back in a time when there weren’t any walkers. I’m glad you never stopped.” 

I was choking on my own air. I didn’t know what to say. 

“I think you’re extremely talented with what you do. I don’t know if there’s anyone else in this world that can play a piano like you can. And having a song named after me is…something I never thought would ever happen.” 

Her hand came up to mine and rested against my palm. I found our fingers slowly entwining, my body acting faster than my mind could. I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t ready to hear someone _liking_ the things that I do. I was used to the annoyed responses whenever I played piano; the jaded sighs when I started singing. 

But she _liked_ that. She liked my _voice_. My **_song_**. 

I came back with the most pathetic response known to man, the five words taunting me as I said them aloud: 

“Glad to be of service.” 

There were no words to describe how pathetic I felt, how I didn’t know how to respond to her compliments. But she understood, anyway. Because those 5 words secretly translated to: _'Oh my god I can’t believe you’re saying all of this to me, and I really appreciate someone liking me for who I am and the things I do and I wish I could tell you how much it means to hear all that but I’m a mess right now and I don’t know how to say it.’_

__

__

I knew she understood because she squeezed my hand and laid a kiss on the side of my neck, continuing to play the song over and over again until it was implemented into our heads. 

_Our song._


	6. New Lullaby

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

_I woke up to the sunlight seeping through the boards of the window across from our bed, sending bright lines decorating the room and my body. I fluttered my eyes open after a moment of registration, rubbing the sleep out of them as I slowly rose from the mattress. My first instinct was to look beside me for A.J., seeing if he was sleeping in again, but found his spot empty. I slowly drew my gaze to the other side of me, also to find it uninhabited._

_Normally, I would have panicked seeing my boy gone without my knowledge, but since neither of them were here, it meant they got up before me again. It's happened before - where I found Louis and A.J. together in the music room, killing time as they waited for me to wake up. I got off the bed easily, grabbing my hat off of the nightstand and leaving the room without a word._

_I must have slept in because it was hotter outside my room, the usual coldness of the morning replaced with the afternoon sun. What caught my attention  was the ungodly silence. I couldn't hear anything but the chirps from the birds outside, replacing the usual voices I heard elsewhere in the school._

_I left the dorm rooms starting to feel uneasy, in search for anyone as I stepped outside. Much like the bed, the outside was completely deserted. Not even Willy, who was usually on lookout at this hour, was at his post. I looked around frantically, the fear starting to swell in my stomach._

_"A.J.!?" I called._

_There was no answer - nothing but the noises of nature. Just as I was about to enter one of the rooms, I heard a voice from behind me. It was calm; one I could never have forgotten in the entirety of my life._

_**"Hey there, sweet pea."** _

_I knew then I was dreaming._

_I turned around and saw Lee. He was sitting at one of the tables set outside, patiently waiting for me to join him. He looked exactly the same as I remembered - blue work shirt, white t-shirt underneath, and his ordinary pair of pants and shoes. Except none of them were stained with the blood or walker guts as they had been through the apocalypse. He looked clean, and at peace._

_"Lee..." I said softly, taking in the sight of him. The tears were already spilling from my eyes._

_"You've grown so much," He commented. "It's been awhile."_

_I nodded, my lips quivering as I tried to remember the last time I dreamed about him. It was before we came to the boarding school, when A.J. and I finally had a peaceful night. I had many of them now, but my mind was never clear enough to dream about **him** again. Not with all the bullshit from the raiders, Marlon, or the incessant nightmares of the Ranch that tantalized me some nights. _

_He patted the spot beside him. I didn't hesitate to come. I wiped my tears with my sleeve as I looked at Lee. His smile made me forget everything I've been through. Everything that has happened ever since I left him. So many years...forgotten in one smile._

_"This is a nice place. I like it." He looked around the school._

_"Yeah," I rubbed the side of my arms. "I do, too."_

_"It's not often you see a place like this. Looks like it hasn't been touched by walkers. Or people who ruin it." He motioned to the profanity carved on the table. "Just a school, huh?"_

_"It's a boarding school run by kids. The adults left them when this happened, and they've been taking care of themselves since."_

_"That's probably why it's better. They have humanity."_

_"Lee..." I started. I had so many questions; I didn't know where to begin. "Why are you here?"_

_"I wanted to talk to you, sweet pea. I've just been waiting for a good time to do it." He looked at me earnestly. "How have things been, Clementine?"_

_I sighed. "Good and bad, I guess. There have been worse times...times I haven't had anything to eat or a bed to sleep in."_

_"-Or a boyfriend?"_

_I coughed in surprise. The look on Lee's face was so smug. I couldn't stop my face from turning red or the way my heartbeat quickened at the mention of him. Lee was like my second dad - it especially felt that way when he teased me like this._

_"How do you know that?" I asked._

_"We've been watching over you, Kenny and I. He was a little late, but I've kept a close eye on you ever since I left." His words eased me instantly. "Never forget that, okay? I'm always here, even if it seems like I'm not."_

_"I know..." I rested my head in my arms. "H-His name is Louis, by the way."_

_"Louis," He repeated. I liked the way his name slipped off his tongue. "He's a kind person. You don't find many of them anymore."_

_"Everyone here is kind. Louis just...forgave me when I didn't deserve it. He's done so much for me and A.J. He's an idiot who loves to joke around, but-"_

_"-He makes you smile."_

_I stopped, his words hitting closer to me than he intended. I looked at Lee and he had that knowing smile again. The same look he always had when he knew he was right. And he was...I smiled the most around Lee. And it was happening with Louis, too._

_"You had your first kiss...." He brought up slowly. My cheeks burned at the memory. "Kenny was so happy. He had to warm up a little to Louis, especially after what happened. But I'm proud of you."_

_"You are?"_

_"Of course. You'll always be my little sweet pea, but you're grown up now. All I ever wanted was for you to live the life you deserve. He makes you happy, and that's why I know he's right for you."_

_I was crying again. I let myself go so much in these dreams - I wasn't with anyone I had to hold my guard around. I was with **Lee**. He watched me grow up from the scared, little girl to who I was now. He knew I was strong. He's told me before. So it was  okay to cry. Around... **family**. _

_He wiped the tears for me. His touch felt so real. As if he was actually there. I gave him the most thankful look I could manage, similar to when Louis gave his ration of dinner to A.J...Lee's done so much for me. He gave me the life I have today, and even in my dreams I felt like he was guiding me. _

_"You're doing a good job raising A.J. He may not be like you when you were little, but he's a survivor. You both are."_

_He took my hat off and ruffled my hair. I made no move of protest and hiccuped slightly, filled with such happiness that I suddenly wished this wasn't a dream. That I could feel like this in real life. Not fighting for my life every second; a world where Lee was still alive, and I could have everyone I loved by my side._

_"Keeping that hair short." He placed the hat back on my head. "I don't know if I'd recognize you without that hat."_

_I could tell he was joking, but I missed the way he used to tip it so it covered my eyes. I missed everything about him. It was times like these I could feel my heart break knowing I'll never get him back. Lee noticed my smile drop. He knew what was wrong. He always did. He lifted my chin up with his hand. I couldn't stop myself from crying again._

_"I miss you, Lee." I shook my head. "I always miss you...and Kenny."_

_"You'll meet us someday. Hopefully not soon, but someday."_

_"I just can't stop thinking about you. Lily - she came back. She told me she knew you better than I did. Started telling me how you'd be ashamed of me now, but I know you wouldn't be. It makes me so pissed. I'm doing everything you would have done for me."_

_"I know Lily is hurting you, Clem. But remember-" I looked up at him slowly. "Family is the most important thing in this world. They’re all you got. Keep them close. **Protect** them. I’ll be back soon, sweet pea. I promise.”_

_He was beginning to fade away. My chest grew empty. I went to touch him, but he wasn't there anymore. The last thing I could see was his smile, and the last thing I felt was his hand on my hat. His words kept repeating back to me, and as I clawed at his fading figure, I began to sob._

_"Lee - don't leave! Not so soon...Lee...come back!"_

\----------------------------

"Fuck, she's crying." 

"She always cries when she dreams about him."

"Are you okay? Clem?"

I opened my eyes and took a sharp gasp, my body threatening to shoot up but I held myself down. I looked around in fear and found two faces peering down at me. Louis was at my side, his hand cupped around my head, eyes filled with concern. A.J. was looking over me too, but he looked more solemn than heartbroken. I reached out to caress his cheek and looked over at my boyfriend.

He wiped a tear from my eye. There were many on my face, I found. They were still coming out from my eyes, though I was no longer crying. With some reluctance, I sat up in the bed and wiped the rest with my knuckle. 

"I'm fine," I assured. 

"I've never seen you cry like that." Louis admitted, putting himself back on the mattress slowly. "It seemed like you were having a nightmare."

"She wasn't." A.J. told him for me. "She just...cries when she dreams about Lee." 

I clenched my jaw. It upset me that this was the norm - that me crying in my sleep was usual for A.J. to witness. I had to keep my demeanor up now that I was back in the real world. “-It’s nothing to worry about. Go back to bed, A.J.”

"But I want to be here for you!" He protested. 

Louis patted his shoulder. "How's this, little dude: you can go to sleep and make sure the bad dreams don't come to Clem, and I'll stay up and keep an eye on her. Sound good?" 

He chewed on his lip in thought before nodding begrudgingly. "...Okay. But I won't sleep easy." 

We both watched as he returned to his spot on my side, curling protectively beside me as he faced the door. His eyes stayed open and his body was tense. There was no way he'd be sleeping soon. I looked over at Louis, who motioned me to keep quiet as he went to A.J.'s side and smiled.

"How's about a lullaby?" He offered.

"I'm not a baby anymore. I'm a big kid." 

"Maybe it'll help? I don't know about you, but counting sheep makes me hungry. A song can help you relax."

A.J. stayed silent, giving him permission to try. I had a feeling this wasn't going to work, but I watched as Louis rehearsed one in his head before singing to my boy. His voice was gentle, quiet, and soothing. I found myself rocking back and forth as I listened to him prolong the notes, each word carefully sung so they were no louder than a whisper. 

_"Day is done,_  
Gone the sun,  
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky.  
All is well, safely rest-" 

A.J. was fast asleep before he could finish, his eyes shut and his breathing steady. Louis looked at me and grinned, maneuvering himself so he was back on the bed and at my side. I didn't know what to say. Part of me was still recollecting that dream, thinking about Lee and what he said to me. 

"Do you...want to talk about it?" He brought up slowly. 

"My dream?" He nodded gently. "I don't know...It's kind of dumb."

" _Come on._ Nothing's as dumb as me mistaking a heart for a potato." I smiled, but didn't laugh. He added gently, "...You know I'm here for you."

I glanced back down at A.J. He was still fast asleep. I didn't have to worry if he'd hear anything. I took a deep breath before resting my hands in my lap and staring at the bed. It wouldn't hurt opening up to him. It wasn't like I was talking to someone I've barely met - this was my _boyfriend_ now. He was part of my **family** …and I wanted it that way. 

"It was about Lee," I began. "Sometimes, I get dreams about him. Like he's actually there with me, talking to me. He always knows what's happening and talks to me about it. Everything about it just seems so real."

"You know, I hear a lot about this 'Lee' guy, but I don't know anything about him." Louis rested his hands on his knees and looked at me seriously. "Who was he? How did you, like, know each other?"

"I met him when I was a child, the same day everything had started." My heart swelled in my chest, recollecting these memories I haven't spoken of for awhile now. "My parents were left for vacation, and my babysitter must've been infected by...what started this all, I guess. I hid in my tree house so she couldn't get to me when she turned. I heard a car crash from my backyard and went to see what happened. There I saw Lee." 

I winced hearing how familiar that seemed. 

"Lee found my house and the other walkie-talkie. I used mine to tell him where I was, and he promised to help me find my parents. He took care of me ever since, and...saved my life so many times. He taught me how to shoot and...how to say goodbye." 

“You said you had to shoot him…” I looked over and saw how sympathetic he was, his features absent of his normal lightheartedness. “How did he get infected?” 

"He was trying to find me, but got bit. I was kidnapped, but he still came a long way to rescue me. He protected me until the very end,. He had to handcuff himself so he wouldn't hurt me when he turned." My hands started to shake. "I had to shoot him. It was the least I could do."

"Holy shit...you got **kidnapped?** By _who_?"

"It was this weird guy who kept talking to the decapitated head of his wife in a bag." I expected the disgust on his face. "I know. I guess he wanted me in his family or something. It was...one of the scariest moments in my life." 

"Fuck." He laid a hand on my shoulder. "Clementine, I'm so sorry." 

"Lee's been visiting me in my dreams every so often. Tells me he's watching over me. And I believe him. I've made it this far - he must be somewhere, making sure I'm okay, right?" I didn't wait for his confirmation. "I miss him. A lot." 

His hand gripped me tightly. "I bet you do." His voice sounded so sad. "...Thanks for sharing with me, Clem.  I'm here for you. Really." 

"I know you are." I shrugged. "A.J. is, too, but...he's always seen me as his protector. I doubt he'd believe me if I told him I was a little girl once. Scared and didn't even know how to shoot a gun." I lowered my head. "Some things he just can't understand right now."

"I think we were all different when this started." Louis moved himself so he was beside me. "And just so you know, I don't think of you any less for it." 

I gave him a look of relief before I laid myself back down, situating myself for the long night ahead. His hand came around my figure and motioned me closer so my head was resting on his chest. The rest of my body was on his side. I had to give him one thing - he was more comfortable than the bed. Even my body refused to move as I curled against him.

"Shall I sing you a lullaby, too?" 

I gave him a glare. He was just _trying_ to ruin this moment, wasn't he? "Don't you **dare.** "

"Was that a 'yes' I just heard?"

He gave me no chance of rebutting before he started to sing, his words louder than they were when he sang to A.J. As if he was trying to wake up everyone else in this school with his voice.

_"Oh, my darlin..._  
Oh, my darlin...  
Oh, my darling Clementine-" 

**_"Really!?"_ **

_"You are mine, and that's forever...  
Dreadfully sorry, Clementine."_

I looked at him in surprise. He wasn't singing the actual lyrics...and...and what did he just say? I was _his_? He looked at me and winked, and I could just sense the conceitedness in his eyes. I shook my head and rested back on him, listening as he finished the rest of the song. Or, at least - the one he _changed_.

_"Strong she was, and_  
Like her friend, Lee,  
She could shoot a walker dead  
Caring for her precious A.J.,  
She's my girlfriend, Clementine." 

I was nearly asleep now, my thoughts debating how cute Louis was or how much of an idiot he could be. He sang it in perfect rhythm, it almost made me want to laugh or cry. As I became drowsy, his hand came to caress the side of my face. My surroundings started to fade as I listened to him finish the song, the last couple of lines barely audible in my ears. 

_"You are mine, and don't forget that...  
I love you, my Clementine."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for 10 bookmarks!! ***Louis voice*** That's very cool! I also want to thank you for the increase in comments lately. You have no idea what they mean to me. I read everything I get. Sorry if I don't reply, I'm either busy writing the next chap or with life. But know I'm reading your comments and I'm really grateful for them! 
> 
> As a side note, I really like to think Lee is Clem's guardian angel after he dies. Watching over her, guiding her, and talking to her when he can via dreams or flashbacks. Let's just say he kept a close eye on Louis. :P


	7. New Decorations

**Louis' P.O.V.**

It was the favorite part of my day!

Well, actually, no it wasn't - but this came close. It didn't happen very often, either. I was sent out with my one-and-only girlfriend, Clementine, to check on the traps to see if they caught anything. A job that was not only boring, but the trips were short because rabbits were becoming scarce. But I was more than happy when I heard Ruby assigning me with Clem. Aasim refused to have us work together for scavenging trips nowadays, the whole "walker piñata" thing and all. Said I was a distraction.

_Ass._

I was equipped with _Chairles_ waiting for her near the front gate. She was still getting ready back in the dorms. I decided to kill time by whistling a tune, batting my weapon against the brick wall to match the beat. I expected someone shushing me any second now, but remembered everyone was still dealing with the aftermath of the raider attack. Things had been silent for days.

"Shit." I muttered to myself. "What a way to get depressing, Louis." 

_"Wow. And I thought I was the only one that talked to myself."_

I jumped hearing a voice. I turned on my heel and found my girlfriend in all her beautiful prestige, her hand on her hip and the other holding the strap of her backpack. A.J. was by her side, snickering from what I assumed was her comment. My ears burned in embarrassment.  

"Sometimes the most interesting person to talk to is...yourself." I flashed her a grin. "You guys ready?"

"Yeah, I think we are." She glanced behind herself hesitantly. "Let's not take too long though, okay?"

I furrowed my eyebrow, but opened the gates anyway. I let them out first before following behind, resting my weapon on my shoulder and listening around for the groans of the undead. 

The first part of the trip was quiet, not only walker-wise, but Clementine-wise. She hasn't said a word to me ever since we left the school. She looked a bit worried, actually. She was on guard more than usual. A.J. hasn't let go of her hand at all. Not that the latter concerned me - but when her other hand wasn't gripping her knife, it was over her stomach.

"So..." I started. "I wonder if we caught something that wasn't a rabbit? Squirrels, maybe? Chipmunks? I'm tired of rabbit stew, no offense to Omar. Actually - don't tell him I said anything."

"Food's food; no point on being picky." She finally spoke up. "They all taste the same, anyway."

I frowned. That was a bad conversation starter. I mentally flipped through the list of things to talk about, wondering which would lighten her mood. I didn't mind silence so long as it was _comfortable_ silence. And judging by the way Clem was hunched over, tenser than usual, she was  not that. 

It was almost as if she read my mind. "Look, I appreciate the talking, Lou, but could we keep this trip quiet? Until we're back?" 

Now I was confused. I narrowed my eyes, trying to think of what I had done wrong recently. She was happy with me, wasn't she? Or - _I,_ thought so, at least. She gave me a kiss goodnight and let me sing her to sleep just last night. That wasn't something she wouldn't have done if I upset her. Before I could ask, we heard some groaning nearby and found a straggler coming towards us slowly. 

"Monster," A.J. warned. Clem unsheathed her knife and advanced on it. We stood back to let her take the kill, my hand protectively in front of A.J. It was like her to take first initiative, plus she took care of walkers quickly. 

Just as she got ready to stab it through its jaw, the effective process she used ever so often, a groan escaped her lips. She hunched down in pain, wrapping her arms around her stomach and bending over. She dropped her knife in the process and I watched in horror as she tried to grab it, all while the walker had free rein for her head. A.J. shoved my arm aside and ran to her. 

"CLEM!"

The scene was painful - the walker grabbed a hold of her and went to bite down on her neck. Before it could, I came forward just in time to swing _Chairles_ upside its skull and send it to the ground. Clementine regained her senses and smashed its head in with her boot, grunting angrily as she removed her heel, only to crouch down again in pain. A.J. went to her side right away, feeling around her neck desperately. 

" _Shit,_ " She hissed through clenched teeth. I came to her other side and knelt down, just as distraught as A.J. was.

"What the hell **happened** , Clementine!?" The words left my mouth before I could think. "You had the kill! What stopped you?"

"Don't...yell at me!" 

"Clem, I'm so glad you're not bitten..." 

The two of them held each other close. I heard A.J. sniffle. He looked like he was close to tears. I even saw one drip from Clem's eye as she tightened her grip. It fed into the remorse that was eating me inside, feeling like such an ass for yelling at my own girlfriend. I couldn't help it - I haven't been that scared ever since...Marlon died. 

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I knelt down and hovered my arms around her cautiously. "I didn't mean-"

"I know, Louis, I know..."

She let go of A.J. and wiped his cheek with her thumb. I felt numb as we inspected the walker beside us. It was dead now, no doubt about that. I could see the part where _Chairles_ tore its flesh open, as well as the scattered, bloody mess of its brains after Clem stomped on it. It made me sick just looking at it - the same thing that nearly killed the girl I love just a few seconds ago. 

Brushing the thought aside, I turned back to her. "Clementine, I know something's wrong. If it's something I-"

"It's not you, Lou. It's not anyone. It's... _me_."

I gave her a look, clearly indicating I was lost. I didn't have the patience for vague games right now. Not after what happened. She noticed my short temper and sighed, letting her arms drop to her sides in defeat. 

"Look, it's just my time. Okay?" She said irritably. "Not a big deal."

"Your...'time'?" 

"My 'time of the month'. Or...whatever you guys call it." 

"Your time of the m- oh. _Oh._ "

I held my hands up instantly, silently telling her I understood. She crossed her arms and looked away from me, leaving a feeling of guilt in my chest. God, I felt like such a fucking idiot. She was on her...her _thing_. Sometimes I forgot that still happened, what with Ruby and her 'code of conduct', plus Violet didn't want to talk about it. God forbid I ever asked Ms. Martin about 'female issues'...

"I'm sorry. Again." I swallowed. "If there's anything I can _do_ , or, or something you need-"

"I'm fine. It's just...It was never this bad when I was on the road, moving all the time. Just a nuisance more than anything." She shook her head. "Now that I'm settled back down, sleeping properly...the cramps are unbearable."

"You could've just told me; I wouldn't have been mad, you know."

"I'm sorry I kept it from you. I didn't think it was going to happen when I tried to kill that walker." She kicked the dirt. "I didn't want you going by yourself, either. Considering the raiders and shit right now."

"Swear," A.J. reminded gently from the background. I ignored it and went closer to her, laying a hand on her back and rubbing her shoulder slightly. 

"I'm a little relieved." I confessed. "Not that you got your - _thing_ \- but...I thought you were upset with me. You can be pretty scary when you're angry, you know." 

She looked back at me before shrugging my hand off, walking back on the trail. A.J. followed and I joined her other side. We didn't say anything for awhile - checking the traps we passed and collecting only a couple of trapped rabbits(that Clem had the pleasure of snapping their necks...I _still_ couldn't stand that stuff). I reset the snares and cracked a few jokes, but other than that, things were quiet again.

I was staring at the ground in thought before I heard some smaller footsteps join mine. I noticed A.J. joined my side, leaving Clem alone in front of us. I smiled at his company - if she wasn't going to talk to me, than I may as well talk to her kid. Just as I opened my mouth to greet him, he interrupted me. 

"She likes chocolates."

"Who? Clem?"

"Yeah. One time, she kept talking about this chocolate bar. We even went looking for one. She likes them when it's her 'time'. Her favorite is the ones with the al....amon....alma-"

"-Almonds?" I asked, my smile growing.

"Yeah. Those." 

I took one last look at her back, smiling at this newfound information, before turning back to A.J. and offering him a fist bump. He bumped it and laughed when I "exploded" my fist. He copied the gesture and returned to her side. I was glad he told me that - I deemed such information important. Anything that could make Clementine happy was, in my book. 

We walked a bit more before she stopped. I went to her side right away - thinking it was another cramp - before she leaned down and picked up something off from the ground. She held it up and admired it out of my sight. I could hear A.J. 'ooo'ing from the side. 

"Looks interesting," She said. 

"What? What's interesting?" I asked.

She turned around and showed it to me. I backed off once I realized what it was. It wasn't a rock or a lizard like I'd been expecting - it was a **skull**. Not a walker or a human's, but it looked something like...a squirrel's? It was small enough to fit in her hands. I took a step back wearily. 

"Here's your chipmunk," She teased, moving the jaw so it clacked against the upper teeth. I cringed. The sound was... _god_. I almost gagged just listening to it. 

To make matters worse, she tossed it into my hands. I wanted to avoid that thing at all costs but it fell in my arms before I could move. I slowly took it in my hands and eyed it with a similar face to when I held a cantaloupe. Which _wasn't_ good, mind you.

"Aaaand I have a girlfriend who likes to collect dead things." I stuck my tongue out and looked at it from the side. "Just when you think you've seen it all..."

She swiped it from my hands, glaring at me with those golden eyes of hers. My heart skipped a beat seeing her so defensive. She normally could give less than two shits about what people thought about her. So it was safe to say that this was **new**. She dusted it off, acting as if it was clean to begin with.

"I just like skulls, okay? They look awesome." 

"Don't worry, Clem. I think it's cool." A.J. grinned from beside her.

"I'm not sure what's creepier: a guy wearing walker skin, or a girl keeping the remains of animals." I placed a finger on my chin. "Actually, give me a second..."

"Hey, it's not like I'm mounting them on sticks or anything. I use them as room decorations. Well, when...we _had_ a room." She flipped the skull in her hands sadly. "Now I just carry them around with me."

"But what if the soul of the chipmunk starts haunting you?" I teased. "Soon enough you'll get a craving for nuts, and you'll be hibernating in the winter. All just because poor little Henry here didn't get a proper funeral." 

I went forward and knocked on the top of the skull with my knuckle. It hurt only slightly, but it was worth seeing the way she chortled. She had that look of vexation mixed with amusement. The reaction I longed for on a daily basis - only an ounce of her annoyance coated with layers of my rich, sugary humor. She may not act like it, but I knew she _loved_ it. 

"Shut _up_."

She threw the skull back down on the ground and continued on our way. I watched as A.J. caught up with her before ducking down and picking the skull right back up. I cringed as I slid it in my coat pocket, knowing I was going to regret this decision later. I picked up my pace. We finished checking on the traps and made our way back to the school afterwards, only a few rabbits in our hands.

\--------------------------------

I hummed a song underneath my breath, holding the bowl in my hand with great caution. I watched as its contents threatened to spill with every step I took and slowed my pace down once I entered the dorm rooms. The bowl was still hot and it had its usual mouthwatering scent. At least - if you loved rabbit stew. That was our daily special, and even if I'd grown tired of it, it still managed to work up my appetite. 

This bowl, however, was not for me. 

We were short one rabbit coming back, otherwise Omar could've fed everyone. I gave my ration to A.J. again, seeing as he was the only one left without a serving. The other bowl they gave to me I saved for someone more important, who was still in bed after the events of today. Nearly being eaten by a walker and the traumatizing stress that came from that, and all. 

An unwelcoming feeling crawled up my spine just thinking about that. I shook it off as I approached the door, opening it with my free hand, and kicking it open. I trotted in saying my greeting in a singsong tone, turning to face my bed with a grin.

"And here I have the finest rabbit stew for the girl who escaped death again. She does that a lot." 

I extended my arms to offer the bowl to Clementine. She slowly sat up in the bed, taking it from my hands before carefully setting it in her lap. I'm guessing I just woke her up, judging by her drowsiness. She looked at it twice before clacking her tongue, getting a spoonful of the stew and pointing it in my direction.

"I'm surprised you didn't spill it with all that singing," She said incredulously. I swooned. I just _loved_ it when she flirted with me! 

"Hey, you're lucky you even got _that_. We didn't have enough to feed everybody tonight."

Her frown deepened, her eyes turning troubled as she set the spoon back in the bowl. "...Who didn't get fed?" She asked sadly. 

"Not important. Make sure you eat it all - I'm sure you need the strength."

"It was you, wasn't it?" She sighed, handing the bowl back to me. "Louis, you should eat it. I ate yesterday."

I pushed it back to her gently. I couldn't live with myself if I ate while she starved. "No, Clem, _you_ eat it. I'm not the one bedridden here."

She gave up and started to eat. I smiled in relief. She knew how persistent I could be - especially when it came to her. I glanced outside the window nearby and could see A.J.'s figure sitting at the table with Tenn and Willy. I could tell from here that he already finished his serving. 

I grit my teeth as I listened to my stomach growl. I held a hand over my abdomen trying to silence it. I didn't need a reminder of how hungry I was. Clem and A.J. were more important to me. It was worth being hungry for them. 

"Oh, Vi said you could use these, by the way." I dug through my pockets and fished out a packet of pills. "Said they helped with the, uh, cramps and all."

She took them and observed the box. She took a couple of the pills out and downed them right away, using the stew to settle her stomach. I blinked once or twice, trying to remember what else was on the label. I wanted to make sure what I gave her wouldn't have any bad effects in the long run. 

"Said it may cause drowsiness," I warned her. "So if you pass out, you can blame me." 

She gave me a look before finishing the rest of her dinner. I remembered what I also came in here for and turned away from her, approaching the nightstand beside my bed. I opened my lower pocket and grabbed the chipmunk skull I kept earlier - placing it in the center carefully. I heard her choke on the stew in the background while I adjusted it.

"You _kept_ that!?" 

"Of course I did." I took a step back and admired my work. "Huh. Not bad, if I say so myself. May have to add interior decorating to my talent list." 

"Are you sure? I mean, this is your room."

"Correction: It's a room I share with you. And A.J." I added quickly. "It's been in need of a refurbishment, anyway. You guys should feel at home too, right? So, no, I _don't_ mind the skulls - if they make you happy, then they're allowed in here."

She smiled, discarding her bowl to the side. "Well, if you say so...I have a couple more in my backpack. You should put those up, too."

I just made a grave mistake, didn't I? With slight reluctance, I approached her backpack and found the pair of skulls. Not like they were hard to find - considering the antlers of the deer's. I held them away from my body  as I debated where to put them. I decided the cat went next to the chipmunk's and left the deer on top of my bookshelf. 

"There," I shuddered. "Does that make you happy, your majesty?"

I turned around expecting a sour look on her face, but she was delighted. Her eyes were lit up. Even as I joined her side on the bed, her gaze was still glued onto the skulls. I glanced at them twice and finally found the appeal - it _did_ look kind of badass. Like **she** was. Maybe it wasn't a mistake, after all.

I remembered something else and grabbed it from my pocket, offering it to her. "Here."

She looked back at me and realized what was in my hand. It was a chocolate bar I found earlier, filled with almonds. Her favorite, like A.J. told me it was. Judging by how quickly she snatched it out of my hands, I knew he wasn't lying. She opened the wrapper and found it intact like I had hours ago. A little melted, but hey, this was the apocalypse, right?

"I'm afraid to ask where you got this," She said, taking a bite hesitantly. A very small _'mmm'_ escaped her lips. She started to eat the rest and I watched from her side with a smirk.

"So don't ask." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder. "But let's just say I'll be finding one of these for you every month. Balance that sour with a little bit of sweet."

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell she didn't have the energy to argue with me. She leaned closer to rest her head on my shoulder, nestling in my arm. She finished her dessert right after that. Before I could ask how it was, she fell asleep on me. I knew because I felt her relax and use my arm as a pillow.

The only words I could say were:

"Damn, those pills work **fast**."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Always wondered what Louis' reaction would be to Clementine collecting skulls. He was kind of sensitive with her snapping that rabbit's neck, so I kind of felt like he'd react like this??? But, anyway, thank you guys for over 2,000 reads! :D That's so cool! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story, and as always, comments are VERY much appreciated! 
> 
> As an additional note, I've taken a look at the achievements for the next episode, and I want you to know that **if Louis or Clementine die, this WILL be your safe space!!!** I've been pissed off at Telltale a few times by how they kill off characters and some of the decisions they make us do, and I'm really scared for how these next episodes are looking, but if either of them die, I am officially disowning Telltale and Skybound. :)))))) AND I guarantee you, that will NOT happen to my children in this fic!!! If it happens in canon, I am disregarding it. M'kay?


	8. New Game

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

Another great dinner. 

I liked the feeling of actually being _full_. I've prioritized A.J. over myself so many times now that I hadn't eaten properly in a long time. The first night at the boarding school reminded me what it was like to have a full stomach, but now those nights were becoming less frequent. It depended on the catch we'd get from either the traps, hunting, or whatever else we could scavenge nearby. Tonight happened to be fortunate, as everyone got their own serving of cooked salmon. 

Louis, A.J., and I headed for our bedroom to retire for the night, having already eaten and conversed with everyone. I was surprised Lou hadn't offered a game to finish the night like he usually did. Nothing about him seemed off, he was acting like, well, _Louis_.  sending an involuntary red pigment across my skin.

We came to the room and I opened the door slowly. I lit the candle and set it on the nightstand, illuminating the walls in a soft, yellow glow that blended with the white colors of the moon. It reflected onto A.J.'s face as he looked at the bed uneasily with his hands clenched. 

"What's the matter, kiddo?" I asked. "Didn't you have a good dinner?"

"Yeah, I did. I just don't want to go to bed right now. I have a lot of energy!" He jumped up and down for effect. "Can I go draw with Tenn? He was asking me about it earlier..."

I considered it for a moment. I wasn't feeling that tired myself, despite my full stomach. I glanced over at Louis and he nodded his head slightly. I turned back to my boy and shrugged, giving him permission to go and spend the rest of the night with Tennessee. 

"Okay. Just make sure you're back before it gets too dark, alright, goofball?"

He was too excited to bicker about the nickname. He gave me a hug before exiting the room, leaving me and Louis alone together. This could mean a lot of things. A lot of _Louis_ things. I turned to him with crossed arms, noticing the relieved look on his face. Almost like he wanted us to be alone. Which...I couldn't deny I wanted, too.

"You tired?" I asked, hoping he'd say no. He shook his head. _Of course he wasn't_.

"Nope. But I don't mind cuddling if you are." 

"I'm not." 

"Cool, so you wanna play a game?" 

It took a lot of strength not to roll my eyes. This explained a lot. "Is this why you didn't start one of those after dinner?"

"Exactly. I wanted to initiate a more... _personal_ game. As in, I don't want to play it with anyone else besides you." 

My heart thudded against my rib cage, my mind all over the place, filled with ideas of what my boyfriend would want to do while we were alone. Some ideas made me blush, others had me sticking my lip out in disgust. He noticed the change in my features and stepped forward to distract me from my hesitation. 

"It'll be easy, I promise." That didn't assure me in the slightest. "We'll draw cards, whoever has the higher card gets to ask the other something they really want to know. Could be about their past, their future, their hobbies..."

"So it's like truth or dare, except without the dare part?" 

"See, you know the basics! C'mon, it's something to do until A.J. gets back. Or we get tired. Whichever comes first."

I considered it and decided, motioning for him to start. He got the cards out of one of his pockets and started to shuffle them. I watched him quietly, mentally piecing together the questions I'd want to ask him. It was inevitable I'd win, having only 2 players and so many cards. He sat the pile down on the desk and pulled up a couple of chairs. I took a seat and moved myself so I was just across from him, our knees still touching.

"So, why did you-"

"- _Ah, ah, ah._ " He held a finger up. "Save the questions for when you _win_ , darlin'." 

My heart skipped a beat hearing that term, but I ignored it. I pulled a card out randomly from the pile, which happened to be the queen of spades. He took his and I saw the smile dissipate from his face. I showed my card to him as Louis slowly turned his over, revealing a 3 of hearts. 

I asked my question impatiently. "Why did you want to play this game with me instead of everyone else?"

"Well, seeing as you're my girlfriend now, I think we should get to know each other better. There's some things I don't know about you, and you don't know about me." He shrugged weakly. "Just seemed a little too personal to play this in front of everyone."

I shrugged and reached for another card. "You've got a point."

We both showed each other our hand. He was, unfortunately, the winner. I knew I was in deep when he smirked again. He had that look in his eyes - when something was on his mind, and he had to get it out. Via his usual 'Louis' outlet, which was either through a joke or exaggerated anythings. 

"Soo....Clemster." I flinched at the word. "-Mkay. Won't be calling you _that_ again..." He took a deep breath through his teeth. "When did you realize you like-liked me?" 

This was easy. I got a little kick reminiscing about our past times together, what we've exchanged ever since I met him. My heart was beating wildly as I said my response:

"Ever since I met you, I guess. I've known people who wanted to preserve the old world, but not for the right things. They kept the wars and violence. But you wanted to keep the arts and music, which is what we really need. And you're a funny guy. You've treated A.J. in a way no one else has, and despite what we did to you...you still forgave us."

My gaze had been in my lap, and as I glanced up, I noticed the look of shock on his face. He collected himself at the last moment, grinning and chuckling slightly as he reached for another card. I smiled. I saw him flustered sometimes, but he got cuter every time I caught him off guard. I grabbed a card and we flipped ours over, only to see that I won again. 

"I'll redirect this question back to you. When did _you_ know you like-liked me, Louis?" 

"If I'd have known you were going to steal my question, I would've made a rule against it." I rolled my eyes again. "Anyway...When I heard Marlon had a girl that survived a car crash, I thought, _'wow, I hope she's not dead.'_ And then he told me you were our age, and I thought, _'wow, I REALLY hope she's not dead.'_ And, hey, you weren't!" 

I gave him a look. 

"-Right, right, but seriously...I liked you from the start. You're stronger than anyone else I've seen. When you and A.J. weren't around that day...I felt like I was missing something. And I was. Because there wasn't anyone else who was willing to get to know me or keep listening after they hear my jokes and the music. You were there for me when I needed it, and...I regret ever hurting you. You put up with my bullshit even when I didn't deserve it. My biggest mistake was letting you guys go, but you came back. I...knew then I needed you two more than I thought." 

I felt myself tremble during his confession. It was one thing hearing people compliment me for my fighting or my leadership, but nothing could match what I heard just now. I reached forward to take another card and noticed my arms were shaking. I swiped it out of the pile quickly. Louis flipped his card over. I won again.

"There's something I've been wanting to ask you for awhile now. Ever since I came here, I think." I fidgeted with the card in my hand. "Why exactly are you _here_? In a school for troubled youth?" 

He stared at me for a few seconds. I was afraid I said something wrong, but he shook his head before I could take it back. "It's just weird to hear someone asking about it, to be honest. Because everyone else knows. You just kind of get the impression that everyone does, but...I forgot that you didn't." 

He leaned back in his chair. 

"It's simple: I freaked my parents out when I started trapping animals. Think I was 6 or 7 at the time. I wanted to be a hunter. They saw me with dead things all the time and sent me here thinking something was wrong with me, like I was obsessed with killing. But if I'm gonna be honest...I think it's the whole 'trapping' process that interested me. Not the killing."

I was pleased with his answer. We grabbed another pair of cards. I won, just a number above his card. He didn't look happy with the result and threw his hand back on the table with a huff. I was inwardly beaming. Hopefully my streak would continue so he wouldn't ask me any dumb questions.

"So, Prince Charming." I tapped the side of my cheek. "How'd you lose that tooth?"

"Marlon and I were fucking around when we were training everybody, years ago. Had these dummies set in the gym so you could practice on them, punching, hitting, all that good stuff. Well, I went a little too crazy with _Chairles_ once and swung harder than I meant to. Missed the dummy and it hit me on the side of my face. **Hard.** " 

He pointed to his missing tooth. 

"I lost this and had a bruise that lasted weeks." He grit his teeth. " **Not** my finest moment."  

I could only picture the scene of Louis attempting to hit a dummy but failing horribly enough that he knocked out his own tooth. I had to remind myself that this same guy was my boyfriend. I shook my head with a smile and grabbed another card. He won, much to his pleasure. 

"Okay, what's the deal with the hat? Not what the 'D' stands for, but...why's it mean so much to you?" 

I narrowed my eyebrows. I haven't spoken about my hat to anyone ever since Lee, or A.J. when he brought it up a few times. I clasped my hands together and stared at the ground, remembering just how long ago I first wore this thing. How much it's been through with me - my most prized possession. 

"Hey, if you don't want to answer, that's fine. We can draw agai-"

"It was...a gift from my dad." I interrupted. "He gave it to me to keep while they were gone for vacation. So I wouldn't miss them too much while they were weren't there. I...ended up losing it at some point, but I got it back again. Haven't let go of it since." 

"Oh. I...promise I'll never make fun of it, then."

Things got silent after that. We decided to draw again, in hopes of getting rid of the tension. It wasn't that the hat subject bothered me, but I realized how long it's been since I thought of my parents. It was hard enough knowing that they were one of _them_. I felt a little guilty as I read over my card, showing it weakly to Louis. He won again. 

"You don't have to answer, but since you mentioned them...What do you think your parents would've thought of me, if they were still around?" 

The smile grew to both ends of my face, imagining Louis meeting my parents for the first time. How he'd crack them up with those stupid jokes of his, impressing them with his voice, the piano, and how he'd get them to laugh and talk for hours when dinner came. For those few seconds, I actually remembered what the world was like without walkers. That was, until I realized the slim possibility of me even _meeting_ Louis if there had not been an apocalypse, and was snapped back into reality. 

"They would've **loved** you." I said in a thankful breath. "My dad - he liked to joke around too, and my mom, well, she would've love to hear you sing. She was into that stuff. I think you would've won them over the moment they met you."

"Not a surprise. My charm wins over everyone." He bragged with a hand to his chest. "And if it's any assurance, I would've loved to meet them. I'm sure they were nice people." 

I grew warm at his response, nodding my head softly. "Yeah. They were."

As my eyes traveled over his face, I could feel the same fondness in my eyes. I suddenly got lost in his eyes - the chocolate brown color reminding me of the life I had before everything started. There was something wonderful about staring in them for so long; something I hadn't attempted before. I got shy enough just looking at him longer than two seconds. 

I didn't realize he scooted closer in his chair so our bodies were only inches apart. We were facing different directions, but we hadn't broke eye contact the entire time. My hand lifted to trail the side of his face and along his jaw. I shivered feeling the soft and rough parts of his skin - the way his freckles felt under my fingertips as my palm grazed his cheek. We still hadn't broke eye contact.

"I..." I started, finding myself breathless. "I'm glad we played this game." I confessed. 

"Me, too." He raised his own hands so they were cupping the sides of my face. I unconsciously nestled my cheek into his palm, the rest of my body melting in his warm touch. "Thank you for doing this, Clem. There's no one else I'd want to play with." 

"We can still play. Let's just forget about the cards and talk to each other." 

He huffed, almost removing his hands from my face until I motioned him to keep them where they were. I could feel how cold the air was the moment he wasn't holding me, and I preferred feeling warm. At least - right now. With _him_. Warm and...comfortable. Talking about our past. Revealing things I wouldn't normally talk about with other people.

"I'll start." I grinned seeing the way his lip protruded. "How come you've never had a girlfriend before?"

"You really want to hear about how pathetic I am that no one's ever come to date me?" His tone was flat. He compensated by chuckling, rubbing his thumbs along my jaw. "Well, you should already know. I made people laugh and expressed myself in music, but no one's ever  looked past that. They just see me as a funny, talented guy. And that's the most any girl would look." 

He leaned closer to me, his eyelids dropping slowly. "But with you...it was different. And if I'm gonna' be honest, you having a crush on me was the last thing I'd ever expect."

His lips were inches away from mine, and by the time I closed my eyes, I was already kissing him I felt a wave of relief come the moment our lips locked. It was like the first time we kissed - the way my heart beat in my ears, the heat on my cheeks, the swelling in my chest, and the way I trembled when his hand came to caress the side of my face. It was weird feeling this vulnerable and numb at the same time, where I was not in any actual danger.

Unless you consider my heart beating out of my chest and dying from blood loss, that is. 

He pulled back to give me a sided smile, drawing his head to the side and licking his lips slightly. I found myself copying him and hunched my shoulders up once I realized what I had done. He laughed. I did, too. We both had a moment were we held each other and did nothing but giggle. 

"Since we're speaking of boyfriends and girlfriends, I just have to ask." Everything good and happy disappeared from me the moment he put on that playful grin. "-Who was this guy you had feelings for? The one you mentioned during our first game, that is."

"What? You want me to tell you just so you can get jealous?" 

"Me? Jealous? Nah. Not my style." Even as he shook his head, I grew a little doubtful. "Just... _curious_."

"Mmm, if you say so." He gave me a look. "His name was Gabe. He was Javi's nephew, that baseball player I talked about, remember?" Louis nodded. "It wasn't that long ago, but it really feels like it. We never really had a thing. I don't think it was anything more than a crush, actually. Kind of like the ones you'd get when you were a kid." 

"What did you like about him?"

"I don't know. Like I said, he was a dork...I guess I just... _liked_ him. He was cute, but it's hard to remember why I felt the way I did." 

"So, technically, you've never had a boyfriend before?" 

"Well, Javi told me Gabe liked me back, but I couldn't stay around. I had to find A.J., so I left." I noticed his lack of movement and rolled my eyes. "-So, **no** , I've never had a boyfriend before. You're my first." 

"Makes me feel a little better. I kind of thought you had one before...y'know, you kissing me first, drawing that heart, and telling me you had a crush on me. Just seemed like you had some experience." 

"No. I just...knew I really liked you, and I didn't want to miss the chance of telling you. I wanted you to know before we got attacked by the raiders, in case it was the last time we saw each other."

"I'm glad you did. I don't know how long it would've taken me to confess to you first. I was dropping a **lot** of hints, you know." I bit my lip remembering all the times he's asked me if I liked anyone. "-As for _telling_ you? That's like trying to feed a lion with a piece of meat. Scary stuff." 

"God, you're so _dumb_. I think you and Gabe are both dorks."

"Then apparently, you have a type." He grinned coquettishly. 

Before I could prove to him that I totally did **not** have a soft spot for dorks, a few knocks sounded from the door and A.J. came in. I could tell just by his eyes that he was exhausted. I smiled and patted the end of the bed as an invitation to come. He said nothing and joined me and Louis by our sides, laying between us and closing his eyes. We were both silent as we listened to him fall asleep.

"I didn't know drawing could tire a kid out." Louis admitted quietly.

"He's had a long day." I laid down and wrapped my arms around him. "I'm starting to feel tired, too."

He got the message and shrugged off his trench coat. Instead of putting it beside the bed or hanging it on the wall, he laid it down so covered all three of our bodies. He rested on his side and moved his arm so his hand could grip mine. I didn't hesitate to hold his back. We looked at each other from between A.J., the same trusting look in both of our eyes.

I thought about everything we talked about tonight. From my parents to how he lost his tooth, or how we talked about the moment we realized we like-liked each other. Just thinking the words 'like-like' made me feel like a kid. As Louis' eyes met with mine, I wanted to tell him something. Something that...was better than like-like. Shorter - but truer. 

"Hey, Louis..." I started slowly. "Not to be totally romantic or anything, but...I love you."

His eyes widened in surprise, and his jaw opened for a moment or two. He shut it before squeezing my hand, moving closer to his other could come around my waist. I looked back at his face and found something contented in his eyes. He winked at me again.

"And not to be, like, totally romantic back, but I love you, too." 

He brought A.J. and I closer to him. I fell asleep almost instantly after that - my hand in Louis' for the whole night. I didn't realize until the morning that had I slept with a smile plastered on my face for about 9 hours.


	9. New Carvings

**Clementine's P.O.V**

"I'll be back, okay? I promise I won't fuck around, so we won't take too long."

Those would be horrible last words. 

For some reason, sending Louis off to scavenge outside of the safe zone was harder than I anticipated. I had frequent suspicions that something would go wrong whenever he left. But this morning, when I was wishing him luck and giving him my usual words of advice, something tightened in my chest. I could feel the recurring goosebumps on my neck; the ones that came before a storm. 

I recalled him catching this, recognizing my hesitancy while holding my hand. He gave me a firm squeeze and said those very words to me, with a look so soft that he reminded me of a small kitten. I had to swallow down my worries, the anxiety of what could happen, and let go of his hand. 

He kissed my forehead. It was a long, meaningful one - the silent message, to me, that he'd be careful. Then, he left. The last thing I saw was his figure disappearing into the woods. And the last thing I remember is feeling a heavy weight on my shoulders, accompanied by a cold swelling that encapsulated my heart. 

I was dealing with these thoughts, these suspicions - the growing concern that my boyfriend would not come back. That he would be bitten, injured, or abandoned. Like the people I've known in the past. I tried to get my mind off of it by practicing my archery and checking on the walls, but even that couldn't distract me from my fear.

I was sitting beside A.J., watching him and Tennessee draw. I figured spending some time with my boy would ease my mind; get me to stop overthinking about my boyfriend's trip. It worked a little bit, but every time I saw A.J. smile, it reminded me of Louis. 

I tapped my knuckles on the wood, watching attentively as he worked on a drawing. This was another one of me and him, except now he was working on another figure in the picture. I was trying to see who it was, but his hand was blocking my view. I tapped my foot underneath the table in hopes that it would calm me down.

Tenn noticed my fidgeting and laid down his pencil. "Hey, um, if you're worried them - th-they'll come back." 

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because they're smart. They always come back." 

"They're taking awhile. That's what worries me."

"Maybe it means the traps are full, and we'll be eating dinner tonight." 

He grabbed his pencil with a shrug. My eyes passed by his sketchbook. He was drawing a group of rabbits. Probably what he was hoping to see when they came back. I felt a tap on my arm and turned to the side, where I found A.J. holding his piece of paper up. I didn't hesitate to take it and look at what he had drawn.

"This is great, kiddo." I looked at the trees and the tire swing. "You're getting better."

"Yeah, but did you see who I added?" He pointed to the right to show the new addition. "It's Louis!" 

As my golden eyes traveled over the stick-like figure, I could see the similarities. Mostly by the hair and the trench coat. I couldn't fight the smile growing on my lips as I looked at the three of us. A.J. was holding my hand along with Louis. We were all smiling, and above us was the word (written the best he could manage): **Family**. My whole body tingled just reading it. 

"Wow, that's...that's really good. But why did you draw Louis?" 

"Well, he says we're 'Team Fun', but I like to think we're family. Like you said. So, I drew him with us." 

Tenn glanced over and showed his approval. "I think it looks great, A.J."

"Not as good as yours." 

"Do you want to learn how to draw rabbits? I can show you."

"Yeah, cool!" 

I noticed the two were started to do their own thing and decided to take my leave, bringing A.J.'s drawing with me. I made my way into the dorms and entered our room. I placed his drawing among the collection we made on the wall. This one I made sure was centered among them all. I took a step back once it was hung and looked at it in pride. I'll have to make sure Louis sees this when he gets back...

_Louis._

The perturbed feeling came back to me as I thought of him. My thoughts went wild again, now wondering if he would even get to _see_ what A.J. created. If he'd ever know that A.J. considered him family. Before my mind got depressive, I removed myself from the rooms and felt a mixture of fear and doubt swell in my body. I tried to conceal it the best I could while I passed by the others, but the moment I was alone, I clutched the sides of my head.

"Get it together, Clementine." I muttered angrily to myself. "Nothing's going to _happen_. Just...calm down."

I collapsed on the ground in defeat. I noticed I was sitting nearby a tree and grabbed my knife, angrily cutting into the bark before I could register my actions. I wasn't paying attention while I cut into the tree, but when I removed the blade, I realized I made something unintentionally.

A heart. 

I looked back at my knife. Had I _really_ made that unconsciously? In the midst of fear? Slowly, I went forward to carve into the lines some more. By this point it was legible on the tree. I decided to complete it, cutting my initial and Louis' inside the heart. When that was done, I stopped to look at my work. It was sloppy, but I was proud of it, nonetheless.

"Wow. I should be an artist." 

Somehow, drawing that heart calmed me. And it was what probably beckoned me to make more. I went around finding trees around the school so I could carve hearts on them, with the initials and everything. I found that I was getting better drawing them by the time I finished. When I ran out of trees, I went to the tables outside and carved them on there, too.

I don't know why I did all of this. It was somehow relaxing to keep my hands working. My mind just blanked when I made them, and I really needed that at a time like this. My impulsiveness was ahead of me because by this point I had drawn about 15 hearts. I stopped myself from dulling my blade altogether and returned it to its rightful spot. 

When I came around the corner of one building, I was stopped by someone nearly running into me. I realized right away that it was Louis. I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms around him, squeezing tighter than I intended. I knew I was smiling, but I was oblivious to the tears running down my cheeks. 

"Fuck, you're back!" 

I didn't realize how excited I sound. It was almost like I haven't seen him for months. I felt his hand come around my back, where he leaned down to lay a kiss on my forehead again. The relief washed over me as he laughed. The sound made my heart skip a beat. 

"You sound disappointed," He teased.

"I'm anything _but_." I squeezed him one more time before letting go. "What the hell took you guys so long?"

"There's this rabbit family Aasim has been checking on. They're all grown-up now. Or, at least they were. We've got a full meal tonight."

"Did anything happen? Any raiders? Psychos? Is everyone alright?"

"We're all back in one piece." He tsked. "It was actually kind of boring. A few walkers came, but that was it. I didn't fuck around, as promised."

I sighed. Thank God. "Well, thank you for being careful. I...was starting to get worried, actually." 

"Clementine? Worried about _ME_?" He felt my forehead. "Did you get sick while I was gone?"

I swatted his hand away. "Come on, don't make me _not_ miss you."

"Why would you? I'm back." He grinned. "I was looking for you, actually. A.J. came to me, but you weren't there. I was a little worried."

"I'm fine. Just decided to take a walk." I lied. 

"Well, let's take a walk _back_. So you can see our catch. Shit, you should see the size of the mom! Looks like she could feed two people." 

He turned to leave, but I grabbed his sleeve before he could. He turned back to me and I struggled finding the right words. Instead, I removed my hand to sit down on the grass and rest my back against the wall. I patted the spot beside me.

"Let's spend some time together first." I insisted. "You were gone for hours, you know."

I fluttered my eyelashes. He shook his head. "I can't say no to a face like that."

He sat down next to me and rested _Chairles_ on his side. I didn't realize he was holding it this whole time until now. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes, moving my hand so it was on his chest. I missed him. I had no idea why, either. Maybe it was because I thought he wasn't going to come back at _all_.

"So, anything interesting happen while I was gone?" He asked.

"A.J. drew something for you. It's back in the room."

"Shit, that's awesome! What is it?"

"You're going to have to see for yourself."

I heard him mutter a 'damn' and tried not to giggle. I held his hand with mine and used the other to feel around him. I eventually came to the wooden handle of _Chairles_ , and swiped it without even thinking. I felt Louis stir, but he made no movement of protest. I turned to get a better look at the weapon, wondering if I should really go through with what I was thinking.

Yeah. I totally should.

I examined each side of _Chairles_ as I twirled it around in my hand. After finding a spot to my satisfaction, I unsheathed my knife and cut into its surface. I heard Louis gasp and gag from beside me, but didn't stop. I could even see his hands hovering around me as I continued with my work. 

"Hey, excuse me, I'm technically as _Chairles_ ' father, and as such I am NOT permitting my child a tattoo! Not until he's 18!" 

"Well, that's just too bad, I guess." I had to suck in the laughter as I handed him back his weapon and my knife. "Go ahead and finish it."

"Finish wha- _Oh._ "

He saw what I had carved on the side. It was a heart with my initial carved inside it, the spot next to it purposely left blank so he could fill in his own. I watched observantly as his eyes glossed over it before they darted over to mine. He hesitated by fidgeting with the handle of the knife, gripping _Chairles_ tighter in his hand. 

Carefully, Louis took the edge of the blade and cut his initial into the wood. After that was done, he handed me back my knife and I returned it to its rightful place. I caught him inspecting his handiwork and took a hold of it myself. Our initials looked no different than the ones that were on the piano, or the ones I had carved on the trees and the tables, but this one held just as much significance to me. 

"Our potato looks great." I stated proudly. 

He sighed. "You're never going to let that die, are you?"

"Nope."

He shook his head and glanced back at the chair leg. He fingered the indents with his thumb and smiled softly. I wanted to tease him about getting splinters, but I found my own hand on top of the initials before I could. Then my fingers crossed over his, and we entwined them without even thinking. Our hands rested over the heart. His head lowered on top of mine where he rested his chin on top of my hat. I could hear him murmuring from above me. 

"I saw what you did, with the trees." He brought up. "That was...really cool."

"You did?" 

"Well, yeah. I saw you carve our initials everywhere. That's actually how I found you - I was following the hearts." 

I flushed. I didn't know what I was expecting - I was practically marking them for the whole school to see. Everyone else has probably seen them by this point. I could just imagine Ruby swearing, Mitch writing over them, or Aasim rolling his eyes and writing about it in his diary. They all probably thought Louis made them, which made it even more hilarious.

"Yeah. I got a little carried away." I admitted. "I kind of missed you while you were gone, so that was how I kept myself busy."

"You know, I was worried about you. You were acting off when I left. But now I know you just missed me." He grinned cheekily.

I huffed."-As much as I hate to admit it...you're right."

"Naturally."

"But I was worried about you getting hurt, or bitten, or dying. Or, _anything_ , I really." I looked away from him. "I had that feeling again, and I thought it was going to be right. But it wasn't."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I tripped on a rock and ran into a tree."

"No, it _doesn't_." I moved so I was in front of him, resting my head on the side of his neck. "But I'm glad you're okay."

We remained like that for awhile, my arms wrapped around him and my head in the crook of his shoulder. I laid a trail of kisses on his neck that led to his jaw. It felt nice to be touching him again, hearing his voice. Even if he was saying stupid stuff. 

"Should I start kissing you before I leave?" He teased. "So you're not worrying that I'm going to die a horrible death when I'm not here?"

I blushed. "Don't ruin this moment, okay?"

"Gotcha'."

"...It would be nice, though..."

He moved my head from his shoulder and tipped it so my eyes met with his. We went closer to each other without even thinking, and our lips locked naturally. Kissing him happened so often now that it was like a new instinct of mine. As my lips brushed against his, I let out a moan in relief - _relief_ that I could be kissing him again, alive, and in one piece. His hand came to my neck and pulled me closer so our bodies were touching.

I was still melting from that kiss, holding the sides of his shoulders with a smile. The stress and fear was gone. Now I was happy again. While I could be, at least. He tugged gently at my pigtails, sending pleasant goosebumps down my body.

"Oh, and that drawing A.J. made..." I brought up. "It's of the three of us. He said he drew his family."

"Wait, _I'm_ in there?" He asked. 

"Yeah. He drew us holding his hands." I grabbed his for good measure. "We all look pretty happy."

"...Shit..." He sounded surprised. "I- he really....Clem?" 

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And--And A.J." He used both of his arms to hold me closer. "So much..."

I lowered my eyes, brushing his dreads to the side so I could kiss his forehead. "We love you, too."


	10. New Figure

**Louis’ P.O.V.**

Babysitting duty was now my favorite pastime. What with Clementine so preoccupied with the rescue plan, plus the constant scavenging trips and walker watch-out, A.J. was sort of left alone. He lingered over Clem while she did practically _anything_. He was offered, many times now, to go and bond with Tenn or Willy while she was busy, but he refused to leave her side. I got the feeling that having a pair of eyes watching over you could be a little stress-inducing, so, naturally, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

“Why don’t you spend the day with me, little buddy?”

A.J. must’ve perked up at the sound of my voice, because he turned on his heel in an instant. I was standing right behind him and Clementine, acting as if I just casually strolled in even though I had been eavesdropping for the past half-hour. All I got was many stressful sighs from Clem and the constant questioning from A.J.

“With you?” He repeated. I noticed his eyes darting back over to his maternal figure.

“Yeah, of course. It’ll be fun. We’re ‘Team Fun’, remember?” I motioned over to Clem. “One of our members here is busy, of course, so it’ll just be you and me.”

I could hear the relief in her voice as Clementine turned around. “That sounds like a great idea, A.J. Why don’t you go with Louis while I look these over?”

“But don’t you need my help?”

I waved it off. “The last thing the mighty-Clementine needs is _help_. Believe me, I’ve offered.”

“I guess…if that’s what you want, Clem.”

“Believe me, kiddo, if I could spend the _whole_ day with you, I would. But these plans really need a look-over, just in case I missed anything. It’s important if we want to get the others back.”

I watched as she leaned down and grabbed both sides of his shoulders, shaking him a little. He laughed, but frowned once he realized what she was asking him to do. I tried to give the most encouraging smile from behind, holding two thumbs up in hopes it would ease him down. He accepted reluctantly.

“Okay. Good luck, Clem.”

“Thank you, goofball.” She stopped to lay a kiss on his forehead. “Make sure Louis doesn’t get you in trouble, okay?”

“- _Hey_! I’ll have you know that I am a very responsible-”

“I will.”

I felt a mix of heartbreak and betrayal as A.J. nodded, but that vanished when he looked at me and winked. I winked back with a grin. This kid was going to be a lot of fun today, wasn’t he? I watched as Clementine finally let go of him and turned to me. I prepared myself for her usual _'watch-my-kid-carefully-and-if-anything-happens-to-him-i-will-kill-you’_ lecture, but instead, she leaned up and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you. I’ll pay you back later, alright? Try not to keep him past his bedtime. If he starts acting up, just come and get me.” 

“No need. My babysitting duties are free-of-charge. But, I **do** accept kisses.”

She blushed slightly. “Okay, Prince Charming. Here’s some for the road.” She pecked my lips three times. “I’ll give you the rest later.”

_Holy shit!_

I was grinning madly as she pulled away and went back to the papers. I must’ve been standing there like the awestruck idiot I was, because I felt A.J. having to tug me out of the room. He was dragging me by the corner of my trench coat. I regained my composure and nudged it out of his hand.

“Ready for a day of fun, little man?”

“Yeah. But what are we going to do?”

By this point we were already heading outside. I held the door open for him and bit my lip in thought. I guess it would be irresponsible of me if I admitted to having no clue. I really _should’ve_ mapped our day out if I was even going to _offer_ watching him. I closed the door with a shrug.

“I think today will be your day. Anything you want, it’ll happen. With limits, of course.” I stopped and put my hands on my hips. “So, what do you want to do?”

He took the question seriously and thought about it. “Well…I’m kind of tired of drawing, no offense to Tenn. I’ve already made Clem a lot of drawings. So, I don’t think I want to do that.”

“Probably for the best. My drawing skills are as good as a rock. And by that, I mean a rock can draw better than I can.”

“Rocks can’t draw.”

“I’m well aware.”

“How about we go to the music room? There’s lots of fun stuff there.”

 _A good suggestion!_ I was secretly hoping we’d find our way there. I didn’t even have to agree because A.J took off before I could. I chased after him and found he was holding the door open for me. I thanked him with finger guns and he returned them. I laughed as we turned the corner and headed into my most favorite room in the whole boarding school.

When we opened the doors, everything was in its glory. The tuned-out, aged piano, the worn-and-torn books, the portraits covered in the finest graffiti…the list could go on, really. A.J. walked past me and pointed promptly to my favorite instrument.

“Can you play that thing again?”

“I sure will! What do you want to hear?”

I seated myself at the piano. The tot followed suit, sitting right beside me. He looked at the keys and thought of what to request. I realized it was a difficult question, but he was taking a little while to answer it. I noticed his eyes kept glancing about the piano, fixated on something in particular.

“What’s that?”

He pointed to the carving Clementine and I made. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. It was nice to still see it there. Not like a carving made in wood was going anywhere, that is - but that the memory was still holding in a place very dear to me. Just looking at it gave me warm goosebumps.

“It’s a mark for a very special occasion,” I informed.

“That’s a…a C! And that’s an L. And that’s a small t.”

“Not a t. That’s a plus sign.”

“Oh, wait, I get it. They’re…initials. For names.” He squinted his eyes. “Who’s C and L?”

“Louis and Clementine.”

His eyes went so wide that I thought they’d pop out of his sockets. He looked between me and the carving over and over again. I crossed my arms and stifled a laugh. I didn’t know what was so groundbreaking about it. As far as I knew, or at least what I _assumed_ , A.J. knew I was with Clem. I just haven’t really… _talked_ about it with him.

“Ohh, that makes sense, too. You carved the heart.”

“No, that was _her_.”

He looked at me apprehensively. “Are you sure?”

“Well, yeah. I was **there**.”

“So, I guess that means she loves you…And you love her?”

“That’s right.”

“How _much_ do you love her?” He pushed.

I was taken aback a little at the question, but replied with as much confidence as I could. “-Let’s just say I love her more than this old thing. And I’ve been playing it for years.”

I patted the top of the piano for effect. A.J. watched me with wide eyes. I noticed a layer of dust came off of it and brushed my palm on the side of my trench coat.

“That must be a lot.” He gawked.

“Believe me, it is.”

“I love her a lot, too. But…not the way you do.” He shrugged. “I love her like…like the way I like you.”

“The feeling is mutual.” My fingertips were burning by the time I laid them on the cold ivories. “How’s about a song?”

He didn’t protest, so I started playing what first came to my mind. The melody was so natural to me that I was able to think while I played. I knew what A.J. was implying…he loved Clem like she was his mom, right? Which would mean he loved me like I was his… _parental figure._

The smile I was wearing widened. I’ve never had this experience before. You get used to being around certain kids that you’re familiar with their habits. But A.J. was an entire different package to unpack. He was different than Willy or Tenn, but I liked him just the same. Still…as much as I tried to be a good figure to kids(I mean, they’re our future, right?), I still couldn’t imagine being appreciated like…like a _dad._

“Is that the song you wrote for Clem?”

I stopped playing in surprise. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I forgot what I was playing.

“She told you?” I asked.

“Well…it might’ve slipped. I don’t think she meant to tell me.”

I laughed. I wonder how that played out. I didn’t mind A.J. knowing; I wouldn’t have played the song in front of him if I did(even if I started to out of habit). I decided to play the rest of the song and ended it by holding the final note. I heard him scoot closer to my side by the time it was done.

“Can you write me one? Like you did for her?”

“Depends if you’re patient, little man. It can take a lot of time to write one.”

“Then I’ll be pat….pa…pare-”

“ _Pa-tient._ ” I repeated, the smile tugging at my lips.

“Pa…tient… He pronounced slowly, then grinned. "I’ll be, um, **that**. Whatever it is…”

“It means you have to wait, without complaining. That’s the important part.”

“I can do that.” His eyes crossed over me a few times. “And-and when you write it, you can name it something cool! Like, uh…Louis!”

“A good suggestion! And the _best_ one, if you ask me…but I think I know something cooler…” I casually turned back to the piano and pretended to muse over some ideas. “How about A.J.? It’s short, awesome, and cool. Just like you.”

“You think I’m…cool?” The disbelief in his tone almost made me frown. I managed to keep my composure, as with my smile.

“No, little dude. You’re NOT cool.” His smile dropped. “-You’re the cool _EST_.”

His smile came back, but he looked clueless. “What’s the difference?”

“It means you’re cooler than me. Cooler than anybody, actually.”

“Cooler than Clem?”

“I’d say yes, but I have a feeling she’d stab me in my sleep.” I grit my teeth at that image. “Anyway, I’ll have your song done soon, buddy. We got more important things to do right now.”

“Like what?”

“Have you ever made a paper airplane?”

————————————-

Our paper-airplane contest lasted a solid hour. Since there were plenty of books lying around(like the headmaster’s diary, which I had a kick tearing apart), A.J. and I dove right in and made them with whatever we could find. Whether that was from the papers on the floor or ripping them out of useless books about trigonometry, they were still considerably impressive paper airplanes.

Turns out the kid didn’t know how to make one, so I showed him a few methods. I used to make some back before the apocalypse. Marlon and I would throw them across the classroom while the teacher was lecturing and we’d blame it on whatever unfortunate kid was nearby. I can remember the shit-eating grins we had. They were a lot similar to what A.J. and I were wearing now.

We flew the ones we made to see whichever would go the farthest. A.J. had some, but I had the majority. It kept him busy regardless, and our session was stopped when Tennessee found us. He offered A.J. some time to draw. I must’ve put him in a good mood because he accepted. Not only that, but he insisted I’d join him and Tenn.

I proved to him that a rock _could_ actually draw better than me. A few decent stick figures and lines that were supposed to represent a tree were thrown right away in the trash.

We sat around the campfire and I told him a few stories after that. I can’t remember most of them, but I think I talked about my baseball days. A.J. shared some decent stories with me, too(where he enlightened me that Clem would sometimes sing him a lullaby to sleep. Such **juicy** information). And then we talked about Disco Broccoli, where I was more than happy to share my memories about the show.

It was in the middle of our conversation that I noticed it was night. I had to cut our chat short and stand up, trying to act happy despite that our day has officially come to an end. I felt even more attached to this kid now - if that was **possible**. The last thing I wanted was to end our day of fun. But Clem would kill me if I kept him up any further.

“We should pack it in, bud.”

“What!?” He sounded disappointed. “But I wasn’t finished with my story…”

“I think we should check on Clem. She’s been working all day. And if there’s any time left, you can tell me the rest of your story.” I offered. “Let’s make sure she’s doing okay, _first_.”

“Okay.”

A.J. grabbed my hand coming inside the dorms. I clutched his as we walked down the hallway, mentally preparing myself for the long 'talk’ I’d get if it was as late as I was assuming. I hoped for the best as I gently knocked on the door, only opening it when I heard her small voice grant us permission to come in.

I didn’t wait to see her face as I casually leaned on the dresser. “Well, time sure slipped past Team Fun! We were having such a good time that the moon wanted to join us! Isn’t that right, A.J.?”

Before the kid could respond, Clementine stepped in front of me. To my surprise, she wasn’t upset. She actually looked relieved.

“Thanks for keeping him busy. I got some great progress on the plans.” She gestured to the desk. “Everything should be good now.”

“That’s great! And don’t worry about it.” I assured her softly. “The kid’s a lot of fun. I can totally do this again if you need it.”

She went forward and pecked me a few more times on the lips. I wasn’t prepared for the first three, but I kissed back for the last two. When she pulled away, I saw she had a smug smile on her lips. I practically melted when she placed her hand on her hip.

“You _did_ keep him up to 10:30, though.”

“Hey, you should be thanking me! I tired him out. See?”

I pointed behind her. The kid was already fast asleep on the mattress, in his usual fetal position without either of us by his side. Clem took off her hat to run her hands through her hair. She let out a long sigh.

“Just as well. I’m tired, too. I’m guessing _you_ are?”

“A little. He’s a talker once you get him going.” I chuckled.

“He’s just excited. He doesn’t share much with anyone besides me. You should be flattered, Lou.”

She was just feeding into my ego and she knew it. I noticed Clementine was getting situated in the bed. She looked at me and motioned forward. I took the cue to join her side and spoon her from behind, discarding my coat to the side so I can wrap my arms around her figure. I could feel A.J. in her grasp and smiled hearing him snore lightly.

“What did you two do today, anyway?” She yawned.

I recalled the moment he saw our initials on the piano, the time we spent on those paper airplanes, our drawings, and all the stories we shared together. I remembered every time he’d smile, and how tightly he’d hold my hand. The memories I made with A.J. today, especially - ones that would not be forgotten. I combed my fingers through her hair and rested my chin on top of her head, shrugging softly.

“Oh, you know, just babysitting stuff.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....the discourse that has been happening in the fandom lately....it's pretty wild. 
> 
> For those of you that aren't aware, there was, like, a major outbreak about bisexual!Clementine in the fandom. A lot of discourse ensued. The biphobia, homophobia, and arguments about the game....it got pretty nasty. Even if you're on either side of the fence, it is canonically-confirmed that Clementine is fully bisexual....however, it is up to the player for how they choose to express it.
> 
> The post confirming this is here: http://kmudle.tumblr.com/post/179248693716/hi-kent-first-of-all-im-excited-to-support-your 
> 
> In case any of you were wondering, Clementine is STILL bisexual in this story. There's no "picking a side" - you pick a person. And in this case, my Clem chose Louis. It doesn't invalidate her attraction to girls, but her relationship with him is healthy and happy. And that's all I want for her. I've seen other Clouis fics totally diss Violet because they made Clem "straight" , and in my opinion, that really is NOT the best way to go if you're writing a Clementine X Louis fic. 
> 
> Anyway, thanks for the patience, guys. I got real sick and I've been stressed so things have been keeping me back from this story, but I hope the wait was worth it. :)


	11. New Reality

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

"Clem, you've _gotta'_ see this! C'mon! Wake up!" 

I stirred from my sleep when I felt a pair of arms shaking me, the voice sounding like almost a murmur in my dream-like state. I opened my eyes and blinked trying to steady my vision, everything in the room looking like smears and blurs. I could just faintly make out a figure hunched over my body, and I expected it to be A.J.'s, as he was the only one I knew who could wake up so happy and excited. I finally came to and propped myself up on the bed, rubbing my eyes so I can finally learn what my boy saw that I just had to see. 

I was surprised to find it was Louis hovering over me instead. 

"Good morning, my darlin'." He gave me his usual toothy grin. "Sorry I disturbed you."

"I thought you were A.J..." I grabbed my hat and put it in its rightful place. "But now I just realize it's my boyfriend sounding like he's just seen Santa Claus."

"Also sorry to disappoint. But I recommend you join me and take a look outside...you've just _got_ to see this." 

With no warning whatsoever, he grabbed my hand and literally pulled me out of my bed. I stumbled to my feet and gave him an aggravated look, which went unnoticed as him turned around and practically threw open the door for us. My heart was leaping and my body felt numb - wondering just _what_ was worth dragging me out of my room to see. Because if it wasn't, I'd be sure to let Louis  know that. 

But as we were leaving the dorms, I saw through the few narrow cracks of the boarded-up windows we'd pass nothing but pure white. I pursed my lips as my boyfriend suddenly stopped, letting go of my wrist and taking a hold of the door's handle. He turned to me biting his lower lip - everything about the sight just reminded me of a little kid. His posture looked antsy as he opened his mouth to say something, but instead shut it and opened the door for me.

What greeted me outside made my eyes widen.

The whole school was covered in blankets of pearl-colored snow, from the roofs down to the whole courtyard. And as I stepped forward, hearing that familiar crunch just underneath my boots, I found that snowflakes were still falling from the sky. They were gentle and nothing like the storm that must've caused this. A breeze came by and carried the cold winter chill with it. I pulled down my sleeves and zipped up my jacket when I felt myself shiver. 

"See? Totally worth it waking you up." 

Louis joined my side, and I knew he did because I felt his hand come to my shoulder and pull me closer to him. I clenched my teeth and fought the urge to push him away, slightly embarrassed that he might've seen me react to the cold. This was when I noticed he actually had his trench coat buttoned up. I relished in his warmth for a few seconds before he pulled away from me and grabbed my hand again, warming it in his grip.

"Actually, this isn't what I wanted to show you."

I let him pull me with him this time as he circled us around the building. I was looking at the footprints already in the snow, noting that these ones were much smaller than ours. When I looked up, I found three figures huddled around something. I recognized A.J. right off the bat but had to squint through the snow to make out Willy and Tennessee. 

"Clem!" 

When my boy saw me and he started running in my direction, probably out of habit by this point. I let go of Louis to hold out my arms and hug him. I realized he was wearing a winter jacket just a little too big for him. When he pulled back, I could see the tips of his nose and cheeks start reddened from the cold. Willy and Tenn heard us and stood behind him, also in warmer clothes. 

"We were building a snowma-man." Tenn motioned behind them. "What do you think?"

I stood to my full height to get a better look at their creation. This is definitely what what they were huddled around - a 4-foot snowman with rocks for eyes and twigs for arms. They had yet to add the nose and the smile. While his body wasn't completely spherical, it was obvious they put a lot of time into it. I gave them a proud smile and held up my thumb to show my approval. 

"It looks great. Good job, you three." 

"I made the head and Tennessee made the bottom. It's taking awhile but it's really fun!" The grin on A.J.'s face warmed me inside. "We wanted a carrot for his nose but Omar won't let us have anything..."

"Well, you could use something else. Like a stick or a berry."

"Hey, that's a good idea! I think I saw a bush that has really big ones." Willy pointed a gloved finger enthusiastically. "Let's go!" 

The kids left me and Louis alone, who stepped forward and wrapped his arms around my neck. I felt my face turn red and wondered if it from either the cold or that my boyfriend was feeling way more comfortable now that it was cold. But then I realized how warm it was inside his arms and my body melted. I closed my eyes and turned to hold my face against his coat. 

"A.J.'s been having a blast all morning. We were throwing snow balls at each other while you were asleep. When I saw him and the others making a snowman, I thought that'd be something you wanted to see." 

"I'm surprised I slept in." I admitted, not looking up from the heat that was his chest. "Usually the cold will wake me up because I know I need to get warmer. But I don't remember freezing at all last night."

He laughed and nuzzled the top of my hat. "That's 'cause you _weren't_. It started snowing last night and the room was freezing, but you made yourself comfy in my coat. So I kept you warm all night." 

My breath felt hot and left a mist in the cold air. "Thank you..."

"It kept A.J. warm, too. He really wanted to play outside when he woke up and Vi found some extra winter clothes in the closets upstairs. I found one for you - that's what you were wrapped in this morning."

I blinked in surprise, only now recalling what I thought was a blanket draped over me earlier. That means it must still be on the bed. I didn't say a word as I threw myself off from him and ran inside. His footsteps followed mine as I went down the corridor. When I came into our room, I found the coat still flat on the bed. I didn't hesitate to throw it on top of my jacket. The inside was fuzzy but wasn't nearly comfortable as Louis' trench coat.

"I expect a 'thank you' 'cause it was either that or an ugly Christmas sweater." His voice came from the doorway. "I thought you'd like the coat more."

My eyes rolled to the back of my skull as I stepped forward and hugged him. When his arms came around my back, I never felt warmer. He let go and I saw him reaching into one of his pockets, where he pulled out a pair of blue snow gloves. He handed them to me and I put them on. They were a little big for my hands but nothing I was going to complain about. 

"Ruby found the gloves. I snagged these for you."

"Thanks for the gloves. And for the coat." My words failed to express just how thankful I was. "Has the school always been this prepared for winter?"

"You kidding? Sometimes Marlon and I skipped class just so we could throw snow at the windows." He closed his eyes. "We'd keep all our stuff in a closet until the next winter. We always forget where it is until we need it again." 

We heard some ruckus outside and left the rooms. Just by taking one step out the door, I was nearly hit by a snowball. It missed my face by just a few inches and exploded on the wall beside me. When I looked to see who threw it, I found Mitch ducking behind one of the picnic tables and laughing. Then I see the other heads surface from the other tables, including Ruby and Violet's. 

"You asshole!" Violet threw one at the table guarding him. "She isn't apart of the game!" 

"You could've hurt her real bad, you know!" Ruby added, launching one of her own that flew right above his head. This only resulted in him cracking up even harder, obliging me to grab a pile of snow nearby and start forming it into a ball.

Louis saw what I was doing and made one of his own, following behind me as I advanced on the table he was hiding behind. Quietly, we made our way to him until we were only a few inches away. Then we both stood over his little base and threw our snowballs at him, which effectively hit his face and sent him into a swearing-frenzy. Everyone else, including myself, erupted into laughter. 

"What the hell!?" He struggled to wipe the snow off his nose. "You couldn't have given me a fucking notice?" 

"Then maybe you want to think twice before chucking a ball at my girlfriend, dude." Louis threw another one at him, which hit his arm when Mitch blocked. Then he grabbed my arm and ran us both behind another table, yelling in his direction. "-AND MAKE A BETTER BASE!"

"Fuck off, Louis!" 

Even I couldn't help but giggle as we ducked and heard the snowballs hitting the wood. Lou brought some snow around and I helped him construct a fort. It was at least bigger than Mitch's, which we used to shield ourselves whenever some more snow was hurled in our direction. The smile ceased to wipe off my face the more snowballs I made and threw it at anyone whose head was tragically uncovered. I even managed a few in Aasim's direction, who was as far from as us as possible writing in his journal. 

"Okay, this is actually pretty fun." I confessed, breathing hard as I struggled to form another ball. Louis grabbed it from my hands and tossed it in Violet's direction, which hit apart of her fort and caused it to tumble down. 

"HOOOO! NAILED IT!" He exclaimed, fist bumping the air in victory. "Might want to make a new fort, Vi!" 

"God damnit, Louis, I've remade it 4 times already!" When she hurled a snowball at him, it nailed him in the face, to which she sarcastically followed with, "Ohhh, so sorry you left yourself open..." 

I could see the playful spite on my boyfriend's face as he wiped off the snow and made another ball. Except this time it wasn't small. He gathered as much snow as possible to make a gigantic one, borrowing a chunk from out fort and leaving it vulnerable. I watched with my jaw hung open as he left our table and ran, dumping it on Ruby's base. She wasn't pleased, to say at the least.

"Are you kidding me!? Louis, you better get your butt back over here- _stop laughing!_ \- you got snow ALL over me...!" 

He came and slid behind our table again, laughing at what happened. I joined him. We all decided that was enough and left our forts. Only Violet was willing to exchange a 'good game' with me while Mitch and Ruby glared daggers in mine and Louis' direction. It was about that time the kids came back. A.J. ran to me and clutched at my sleeve, urging me forward. 

"Clem, we finished our snowman! Wanna' see?" 

I nodded, letting myself get dragged around for the third time today as A.J. brought me to their snowman. It looked complete now, with a crooked smile and a slightly-misaligned nose they constructed using a couple of berries. I made sure he was proud of it and Louis helped in that aspect, even coming up with a name for it. They agreed on 'Brody on the Snowman' and Tennessee promised to draw it when he had the chance. 

We made snow angels after that, A.J.'s being between mine and Louis'. Then we did other typical snow day stuff after that, like using a makeshift sled Mitch made and carving messages into the snow(A.J. made me a heart while Louis made a bigger one around it). And during all that time I never once thought about walkers. Or what could be happening outside the gates. Or how, for the longest time, A.J. and I haven't had a snow day like this.

But it all came tumbling down on me when I was watching them slide on the ice, sitting on one of the benches that wasn't used in the snow fight. My mind drifts as it usually does whenever I think too much. I started remembering all the times I've been in snow, appreciating how different it was now, but only ended up resurfacing memories I'd have rather not thought about.

I didn't realize I was staring at the floor until I saw a pair of boots stop in front of me. When I glanced up, I saw Louis looking at me in concern. I probably let my frown slip onto my face while I was thinking. Without saying anything, he sits beside me, close enough that our knees touch and I can feel his body against mine. Then I start to think some more, and before I know it, my head found its way onto Louis' shoulder.

He takes this chance to talk to me. "Are you, uh, okay?" 

"Yes and no." I furrowed my eyebrows, staring at the snow on the ground. "I'm having a great time, but..."

"....But?"

"I can't help but just remember something. Something bad." I clarified. 

"If you want to talk to me about it, you know I'm here for you."

I smiled, but it dissipated quickly. My hand comes into Louis' without even thinking, but when I feel him clutch at it back, it relaxes me. I glanced up just to make sure that no one was within earshot. Then I sighed and let myself lay against him. I found that talking about these things to him made me feel better, in a slight way. I wasn't holding them back or burying them further in my head like I'd been used to doing. Sharing them was...nice. It was okay. 

"When A.J. was born...it was during a snowstorm. When his mother was dying. From hypothermia and...and giving birth to him made her bleed. So she was losing a lot of blood, too." My eyes came to his figure from afar, causing me to take sharp intake of breath. "She turned while he was in her lap and I...I had to shoot her to save him. And this girl, Jane, she did something horrible just to prove a point. She lied to us that A.J. was dead but she left him in a car in the middle of the snow. He could've frozen to death." 

I noticed my lips were quivering and gulped. "I just can't help but get worried every time it's snowing. Before we came here, I always had to stay awake and make sure A.J. was warm at night and that nothing bad could happen to him. Because of what's happened in the past." 

I got emotional and hid my face in side of his coat, mentally swearing at myself for doing this again. Only a couple of tears left my eyes and I stopped crying by the time I warmed up in Louis' shoulder. I looked up at him and noticed he was clenching his teeth, looking at the floor and shaking his head. I could feel his hand trembling on my back. 

"Shit..." He whispers. "I can see why you'd do that." 

I didn't want him to get emotional either so I quickly added, "-But that's why I'm really thankful you guys made sure A.J. had a coat and everything. I can't thank you enough for keeping us warm last night." 

"Clementine, I promise you guys won't have to worry about something like that again. _Ever._ " He looked me in the eye. "And if it came down to it, fuck, I'd let you guys take my coat so I could freeze." 

"Hopefully you won't have to. It's just senseless to be thinking of that right now, but I keep remembering these things and it gets to me. It's like I can never forget them. Every time A.J. tells me he's cold, all I can see is him in that car again..." 

"You know what I think you should be seeing? Him right now. Over there, falling in the snow and getting back up and laughing." He pointed and I followed, smiling when I saw A.J. hold onto Willy's side. "He's not freezing or locked anywhere. You took care of him so we could, too.

"Louis..." I buried my face into his arm, squeezing his hand tightly. "-Thank you."

"You're welcome." He patted my back and slowly got up from the bench. "We should join him, actually. So we can see who can stay on the ice longer without falling. My bet's on you."

I wiped the end of my eye with my sleeve, letting him help me to my feet. "Yeah, that sounds fun." 

I held onto his arm with both of my hands as we joined A.J., swerving ourselves on the ice and being cautious not to fall. Anytime I felt myself slip, I'd hold onto Louis and he'd hold onto me. We felt A.J. holding onto us, too, so he couldn't fall, either. Eventually all three of us slipped and we fell on top of each other, our laughs mixing with Violet's, Ruby's, Aasim's, Mitch's, Willy's, Tennessee's...but I remember my laugh being the loudest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in two months. 
> 
> You may be wondering...why are (mostly)all the characters okay and included in this chapters? Because 'tis the season, that's why! Continuity? What is that??? :') 
> 
> I really am sorry, though, life got busy and I've been working on other fics of mine. But on other news, the next episode finally has a release date! I personally feel January is such a long way, considering how much the fandom/game's been through, but it hurts to wait that long so I'm comforting myself by writing some Clouis in the meantime. I apologize if anything is off or anything in this, I just got a new laptop and I'm testing out the keyboard, so I'll be checking back for typos soon.
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait, and happy holidays! I may write a Christmas chapter soon. I'll have to see.


	12. New Cut

**Louis' P.O.V.**

I like to think of code names for situations I don't know what to do in. It gives me a sense of validation with the impression that if I name something, I clearly know what I'm doing. Even though I really don't. Like when we were expecting that raider attack - I didn't tell anyone, but that was secretly operation ' _Impending Deaths_ '. Of course, I named that one last-minute when we were all fearing for our lives that night. 

Right now, I had another code name, as I was faced with another situation I had absolutely no idea what to do in. It may not be as life-threatening as Operation Impending Deaths was, but it was keeping me on edge and, for moments at a time, I just couldn't think straight. I hated coming off as too desperate at times, but right now I was missing something. Well, not someTHING, but someONE. 

It was operation _'Finding Clementine'_. 

It feels like I've been searching for hours when, really, I know it's only been 10 minutes. What originally was a quick trip to ask whether she'd want carrots or potatoes in her stew tonight turned into a mission. I couldn't find her in her room, in the dorms, in the courtyard, and in a rushed attempt, not even the greenhouse. I was tempted to search in the roads or the forest but after asking everyone, they reported Clem hasn't left the school. To _their_ knowledge, at least. 

It was a good sign when I found A.J. with Tenn on lookout. He told me she left to take care of something. Where? He didn't know. So here I am now - pathetically searching every inch inside of these walls calling out her name trying to find her. The mission was growing more serious the longer I went on.

I finally came to the basement and shut my eyes for a moment, remembering the mess that happened in here. I opened them again and pulled on the doors slowly, finding the darkness past the steps a little intimidating as I called out her name for the 200th time. 

"Clementine? Are...you in here?" 

...

_Snap!_

I jumped back in surprise when I heard what sounded like a rubber band snapping come from inside. I began to climb down the steps and took a weary look around. There was light down here, but it was past the boiler and the shelves. I gripped my weapon behind me as I slowly followed the trail, shivering when I saw the pool of blood I passed. I didn't like coming down to the basement for this exact reason. This shit was always scary. 

_"Ugh...fuck..."_

I felt literal music come to my ears when I heard Clem's voice. Even if it sounded agitated, it did wonders to my heart as I discarded _Chairles_ and rushed to find her. I found she was leaning against the wall messing with her arm, her eyebrows drawn together and her lips curled into a snarl of disgust. When she saw me come, she hid her arms behind her back and changed her expression into a surprise one.

"Oh, Louis. I didn't see you there."

"I've been looking for you. Why are you down here?" 

She fluttered her eyelashes as she looked around, moving her other arm to a random box and tapping it. I noticed she didn't have an immediate response, as if she hadn't been expecting the question. She drew her eyes back to me and shrugged lightly, tapping her fingers against it and watching as the dust came off.

"I was just...looking for something. I, uh, found it."

"Well, what'd you find?" 

"..."

"..."

"A ruler."

"...What'd you need a ruler for?"

"A.J." I gave her a dumbfounded look. "For his drawing. He needed to make a straight line."

"Okay, 1. You're a terrible liar, 2. I've seen the kid draw, he doesn't worry about those types of things, and 3. There's no ruler around you in sight."

"Look, I- _agh! Shit..._ "

I hunched down by reflex when she took a sharp intake of breath, baring her teeth and swearing with a hiss. She slowly removed her arm from her back and clutched the spot I found her messing with earlier. I got closer to her until she held up her hand when I was only a few inches away. I turned my head to the side and found a nasty wound she had on the inside of her arm. I could see the blood and forming infection of the scrape. 

" _Damn!_ That shit looks horrible."

"Thanks, Louis, I didn't know." She retorted sarcastically. 

I brushed past her hand and grabbed her arm for myself, feeling her try to draw back as I tightened my grip. Just looking at her laceration caused me to breathe through my teeth. I wondered when the hell this happened - when she was out last time or if this came from the struggle of the raiders. It looked fresh, but that was all I noticed before she pulled it away.

"I was trying to patch it up. Using some supplies I got from inside." She looked at it and frowned. "Using one hand without a table is a lot more difficult than I thought..."

"Why didn't you ask for help? Ruby and Tenn are great at this."

"It's just a little cut. I didn't want to worry or burden anyone." She attempted to treat it again. "Besides, I've had worse."

"Uh, yeah, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't get help when you need it. Willy scraped his arm on the concrete one time and Ruby helped him with no problem." I took her arm again and grabbed the bandages she was attempting to use. "At least let me wrap it for you."

"That's fine, I guess. I already put some stuff on it."

Without fighting me again, Clementine allowed me to bandage it for her. While I did this, I couldn't help but think. If she didn't want to bother 'anyone' with this, then that meant she didn't want to bother me, either. But it could really matter less to me what injury she has - she could have a paper cut and I'd still find something for it. It bothered me that she didn't know this.

"Look, I get that you're a badass and you can handle things, and a minor cut is not the end of the world-" I cut the end of the bandage. "-but just know that I'm here for you for anything. Not just to listen, but if there's something you ever need, I can deliver. I'm not as good with medical stuff, but I'll still try."

She sighed with relief and returned her arm. "Thanks, Louis. It's not a big deal. If it was, believe me, you'd have known."

"Even the slightest thing such as a mud puddle in my Princess' way is a serious situation." I quipped. "I'd sacrifice my coat for you, you know." 

"Like you haven't already." She rolled up her sleeve and shook her head. A troubled look overcame her features. "Actually...there's something else you can help me with. And **don't** laugh when I tell you what it is."

"We'll just have to see, won't we?" I leaned back and crossed my arms in amusement. 

"Can you cut my hair?"

"..."

"What?"

"Say that again?"

"Can you cut my hair?" Her tone turned stern. "I have to keep it short and it's long again. I'd do it myself, but then it'd be lopsided. And I don't want to hear the millions of questions A.J.'s going to ask me about my cut if he does it."

"Well, yeah. I can do that. There should be a pair somewhere in the dorms - I think Ruby owns a pair. I'm sure she'll let you borrow it." 

"Really? That's great. I was going to use my knife, but that works a lot better."

"...Just like she would've helped you with your abrasion there..."

"I don't want to hear it, Prince Charming."

\---------------------------------------------

A pair of scissors in my hand and a couple minutes later, we're  now in Clem's room. She grabbed the chair from the desk and slid it over to the middle of the room. When she takes a seat, my eyes widen when her hands come to her hair. I've seen her without her hat before, but I haven't witnessed her without pigtails. My jaw naturally drops when she pulls them out and her hair falls down to her shoulders. 

It was amazing, to say at the least. I grabbed it in my hands and felt its texture between my fingers. I separated a few strands of her brown hair. It reminded me of mine, but hers is a lot softer. The longer I take trailing my hands over it, the more I become mesmerized with Clementine’s hair. I forget all about the scissors in my hand and what she’s asked me to do. I take a step back and admire how it looks on her again. Then I went to feeling it again.

"Um, are you done with...whatever you're doing?" She snaps me out of my thoughts. 

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right. Right." I start clipping away. "Your hair looks...cute." 

She turns to glare daggers at me. I correct myself weakly. "I meant it looks pretty. On you."

She rolls her eyes and returns her head back to its former position. As I cut the ends of her hair, I notice how tense and silent is between us. I've only went to get my hair trimmed a few times before. Whenever I went to the stylists, they talked to me about random things. Should I do that now? Or bask in this rich yet awkward silence? 

"Gotta' admit, I'm a little attached to your long hair now." I pause. "...Why do you cut it?"

"Lee told me to keep my hair short. So walkers can't grab onto it and get me." She moves her head down to stare at her lap. "I had it long when I was a kid, and people have grabbed me by it before."

"That makes sense. The pigtails make it harder to grab." I snip at her sides. "Who, uh, gave you those bands?"

"..."

"..?"

"Lily." 

"Oh."

The awkwardness resumes as things grow quiet again, no noises besides my cutting. It's taking a lot longer than I presumed it would. These small scissors let me cut only a little bit at best. Was this really all we had? I could swear I've seen a bigger pair around before...

"So, uh, what do you do with...your hair?"

"Me?" I'm surprised at the question. "I grow it out. Keep it in dreads for the same reason. My hair does what it wants, really."

"Ah."

"...Is there any way specific you want me to cut it? I get you want it short, but didn't people used to, uh, style their hair?"

"You can do whatever. I keep my bangs to the side, anyway. No one really notices since I'm wearing my hat all the time."

"-Or to hide the horrible haircut your boyfriend is about to give you?"

"You can't be any worse than Javier was." She tittered. "I never saw it, but I could feel my hair was uneven and cut too short and too long at parts."

I focus and look at my job so far. It's exactly as she described. I begin to fix it, chuckling nervously as I do so. I think she notices because I hear her giggle again. I trim her hair until it reaches just at the start of the back of her neck. I take a step back and move her head straight so I can tell if it looks okay. Okay being mediocre, that is.

"Well, alright. I think we're done here. And, um, don't kill me if you don't like it, okay?"

I watch with anticipation as she runs her hand through her hair and grab at certain parts. She feels around her neck where it once was before standing up from the chair. She brushes her bangs to the side and turns around to me slowly. I end up gawking at what I see - a Clementine with freshly-cut short hair surrounded by complimenting rays of sunshine behind her back. Her golden eyes glow as she looks up at me and smiles, making my heart thud against my chest as we both stand there.

"How does it look?" She asked. 

I revel in the uncertainty of her voice. She appears very timid with this, as if my opinion would make or break the way she feels about her hair. When I realize I'm taking too long to answer and her smile starts to drop, I take a step forward and look at her with half lidded eyes.

"You look beautiful." I tell her. 

"R-Really?" Her eyes widen. I swear I see a blush on the ends of her cheeks. 

"Would I really lie about my girlfriend's appearance?" I ask her. "Well, yes, if you were covered in walker guts and you asked me how you smell. I'd reply, ' _you smell just like lavender and dandelions, darlin_ '. And then I think you'd punch me."

She laughs and nudges my arm. "Come on! I'm serious! You...really think I'm beautiful?"

"Why wouldn't I? You're my girlfriend. And...you look amazing." My breath is hot as I say this. "As for my job on your hair? Well, I'm naturally gifted. So that was a given." 

She smiles and pokes around her head. "Well, everything's about even and I'm not bald anywhere. So I'd say you did a good job, too." She stops and the frown drops, but when she gazes up at me, it grows back and her eyebrows raise slightly. " _Thank you._ "

"You're welcome. Clem, I...you shouldn't be afraid to ask me for help with this...stuff. Not just for cutting your hair and letting know how beautiful you are, but I'm here to support you. You know. Like you do with me." 

"Are you telling me you want a haircut, too?" She puts a hand on her hip coyly.

"We'll see how much I trust you before I let you lift a hand on my _precious_ dreadlocks." 

I brush my hands along them and close my eyes for effect. When I hear Clementine laughing in the background, both my chest and heart swells. She takes the bands and puts her hair in pigtails again, returning her hat in its place right over it. But even after all of that's done, I still can't get the image of her with her hair down out of my head. 

_She really is beautiful._


	13. New Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *****SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED THE NEWEST EPISODE, I DO NOT ADVISE READING THIS IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS!*****
> 
> ...
> 
> Now that we have _that_ out of the way, I want to apologize to you all for not really updating this fic again. I understand that last update _may_ have been out of the blue, but that was a request someone sent to me ages ago back on Tumblr. I'd credit them but they remained anonymous, and I didn't see a point to making an Author's Note for that one because...well, to be honest, I was just trying to finish the newest episode at the time. :P 
> 
> Speaking of which, what a ride! Personally, I went 100% Louis route because I love him, but I saw what happens if you save Violet instead...especially when you romance Louis but save her still. It...isn't pretty. Not at all. It's actually a scene that makes me physically sick. I will NOT be writing a (SPOILER)tongueless!Louis chapter. I've...tried already. I physically can't.
> 
> Also, as I feel it's worth mentioning, I DID remove the first three chapters of this story. If you're sitting there wondering why the # of chaps decreased or didn't read the last one thinking it was an error, _no_ , I DID update this fic. I removed the whole 'Louis teaching Clem to swim' thing because at the time I wrote it, I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't understand Louis' character or their dynamic and I just regretted reading it again, as popular as it was. And I removed the Louis P.O.V. chap with the Marlon situation because. We didn't know what anyone's reactions would be afterwards and I wasn't pleased with how I handled Louis' thoughts in there. I had to remove it. I'm sorry.
> 
> I also changed the summary of this story. Originally, I planned this to be a slow burn fanfic where Louis and Clem go from friends to lovers. And while I was on that track at first, trying to make it into chronological order, I was having a lot more fun just writing one-shots instead. I couldn't handle the slowburn because the game introduced their kiss. I wanted to get on that horse already. So I rushed it, made all of these short stories just collected into one, but the summary remained. However, it was totally inaccurate and until I can think of a better one, ' _My New Reason_ ' will be summarized as just a collection of Clouis moments. 
> 
> Also, the chapter ahead may be a little...emotional. A character from Clem's past returns. Someone I really want to meet Louis somehow, but I know it'll never happen in canon. So, I made it happen in here. It's a mess but I just really wanted to write the interaction. It's also a long chap and I'm sorry for the long note, but thank you guys for sticking around and reading, nonetheless. Thank you all for over 4,000 reads, too! Super, super cool.

**Clementine's P.O.V.**

The sun was starting to set by the time we reached a road. I'm exhausted from running. As the sweat falls from my forehead, I can feel my eyes stinging and my throat burning. A cramp was starting to form in my leg, so I sat down and rested it. When I looked up, I found Louis and A.J. standing in front of me, out of breath and hunched over. 

"Shit." Louis hissed through his teeth, peering at the setting sun just over the horizon. "We went farther than I thought." 

"We had to. They were on our tail. We had no choice." I reminded him.

"Clem?" A.J. approached me, hugging my side and shutting his eyes. "There were so many...I couldn't keep up. Louis had to carry me."

I went to thank him, but he wasn't paying any attention. He was focused on the dimming sunlight, his eyebrows pinched together and his eyes narrowed. He straightened himself and crossed his arms, kicking some nearby pebbles and throwing his arms into the air exasperatedly. I can tell just from his posture he's as tired as I am. 

"Well, this is just great. I have no idea where we are. We're farther than the safe zone, that's for damn sure." He looked down at the dirt and frowned. "Looks like everyone else got lost, too."

"We'll find them. They can't be any farther from us." I looked around in search of any anyone. "A.J.? You still have those binoculars?" 

He took them out of his  pocket. "Yeah."

"Use them to look around. See if you find Willy, Tenn, or...anybody."

He nodded and held them up to his eyes, standing on the road and looking around. Louis sighed and plopped down beside me. From the corner of my eye, I could see he was looking at my leg. I was clutching it in fear of making the pain any worse. As much as I wanted to get on my feet and look for our friends, I can't do anything but sit here until the aching goes away. 

"Sorry for losing it a bit there." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I'm just a little worried since, you know, we've been losing everybody lately..."

"I understand. We just got them back but the herd was still big. We didn't know except to run for our lives. It didn't help we were getting gunned down, too."

"To be honest, I have no idea how we all made it in one piece. Speaking of which, are you...okay?"

"Me? Yeah." I glanced down at the leg I was holding. "I must've strained a hamstring or something." 

"Oh, shit. No wonder you kept slowing down." 

"It'll pass. I just need time to...rest." I clenched my teeth just moving it a little. "What about yo-"

"Clem! I think I see someone!"

We both perked up as A.J. alarmed us, passing me the binoculars and pointing somewhere to my right. When I looked through them, I found a small figure signalling with their arms. From this distance, it looked like Omar. I smiled as I removed them and handed them back to A.J., going to get up but stopping once I felt my leg swell. 

"Ah.. _fuck!_ "

"Here. I'll carry you." Louis offered, getting up and leaning to my level. I looked at him incredulously.

"Me? Are you serious? I'm heavier than A.J. is." 

"Not like you have a choice, sweetheart."

Those were the only words he said before picking me up by using one hand behind my shoulders and the other cupped just under my knee. I was brought up to his chest with ease. I heard the slight groan he made once he was holding me, but when he got a better grip, he smiled. A.J. started to lead us and he followed after, walking slowly and as close to the road as possible. I was left staring at his face in awe, still perplexed at the newfound knowledge that he can actually carry me.

He noticed my stare and chuckled. "You're looking at me like I just solved world hunger or something." 

"I didn't think you could carry me." 

"If I remember right, wasn't it _you_ who said you look for strength in a partner? Well, I'm here to sweep you off your feet, end of the world or not." He winked at me again. My cheeks turned crimson. 

"Wow, really? Okay, Prince Charming. You have me in your arms. But only because I can't walk right now."

"I was bound to carry you at some point anyway. Actually, what was it they called this again? When two people get married and the groom carries his bride? Oh, right. _Bridal style_." 

I was flustered, for some god forsaken reason. I struggled just getting the words out of my mouth. "Wh- when did--"

_"You two look like you're having fun."_

We both snapped our heads in the direction of the voice, only to see Omar looking at us in return. He had his arms crossed and his lips formed into a smile, his eyes scanning us up and down. The blush on my cheeks grew as I attempted to get out of Louis' arms, but stopped when my leg acted up again, letting out a pained noise. 

Louis grit his teeth. "Yeah, she hurt her leg, I think. Where's the rest of you guys?"

"We found this abandoned shack. Took shelter in it." He pointed behind him. "The rest are in there right now. I think there's a bed she can lay in." 

"Thanks." I looked at A.J. and motioned to it. "You go ahead and scope it out for me, okay, kiddo?"

"Yes, ma'am!" He exclaimed before running off. Omar followed after him. I was left alone with Louis, who looked a little too happy to have me in his arms for this long. I rolled my eyes until they reached the back of my head.

"You can put me down now, you know."

"No, I don't think so. You sounded horrible trying to wedge out of my grip." I felt him hold on tighter. "I'll get you inside, okay? That's the least I can do."

I smiled and let my hand rest on his chest, moving my head so it was laying on his shoulder. "Okay. That sounds good." 

I allowed him to take me inside and A.J. found us coming in. He held the door open for us and closed it after. It was dark and the only source of light right now was coming from outside of the windows. Well, from the parts that weren't boarded up. I could hear someone around us lighting a match but couldn't make out who. When a candle was lit, I heard Willy's voice call out in triumph.

"Hell yeah!" 

I made out a bed in the left corner of the room now that it was illuminated. Louis found it and brought me to it, laying me over the old, scratched up blankets. I sighed in relief when the pressure was taken off my leg. As I rested there, I could hear the rest of the kids talking. It looked like Omar, Willy, Tennessee, Aasim, and Ruby made it in here. But Violet was nowhere to be found.

"How long are we going to be in here? It reeks. I think something died somewhere." Aasim waved in front of his nose.

"Just as long as we know they aren't searching for us. The ones that are left, at least." Ruby responded. "Could be an hour, could be a day. We just need to make sure." 

"C-Can I have some water?" Tennessee asked. Louis grabbed a bottle from a nearby shelf and looked it over before handing it to him. "Than-thanks." 

They all conversed some more but I found my eyes shutting before I could listen. I let the fatigue of my body overcome my mind, and before I knew it, I couldn't see anything but darkness. I relaxed on the mattress and fell asleep listening to all of their voices.

\---------------------------------------

I was woken up by a small pair of hands shortly after. I opened my eyes and looked around before finding A.J. by the side of the bed. His eyes were wide and his hands were clenching the side of my arm tightly. I recognized that look. It was when he saw something that wasn't good. I returned it with a worried expression of my own. 

"Is everything okay?" I asked. He looked behind him and bit his lower lip.

"No, Clem, there's...there's someone in the bathroom." 

"Really?" I shot up in my bed. 

I looked around and found the room empty besides Aasim sitting across from me with a book in his hands. HI curled my body up until I could slide my legs over the mattress. The pain was as good as gone now. I let A.J. bring me to the back of the room and opened the door that was slightly ajar.

I could hear everyone's voices from inside and saw them huddling over a figure in the bathtub. I couldn't make out what they looked like but attempted to see through their arms. It was then I heard a different voice scream, sounding shakier than anyone else's.

_"GET BACK! I will kill any of you if you get any fucking closer!"_

Instinctively, they all took a step back. Willy bumped into me and turned around. I took this opportunity to slip in between the gap that was created and look at who was inside. The sight made my mouth go agape and my jaw hang in surprise. I was shocked when I recognized who it exactly was.

"...Christa?" I asked, softly.

The figure's eyes turned to me slowly. That was all I needed to see. Their mouth hung open as they registered the sight of me. I heard her voice again, and that time I really knew who it was.

" _Clementine?_ "

\-------------------------------------------

"Okay, you CAN'T be telling me this is a coincidence." Aasim gestured to the bed, where Christa was currently resting. "Clementine knew who Lily was and now she knows who this woman is. This...this HAS to be some sort of plan or, or something."

"It's just a coincidence." I reply in return, glaring at him slightly. "Not everyone I've known has died."

"It is a little weird..." Tennessee added. "Is-Is she good?"

I turned to my head to look at her again. Christa looked the same, but was different at the same time. The last time I saw her was when she was wearing a brown jacket with a white shirt. Now she was in a torn blue jacket with a tank top underneath, which looked equally as worn. She had no shoes on and her pants had holes everywhere. What looked the most different was that she had her hair down now, her long strands blocking the sight of her eyes every so often.

She looked tired. Defeated. Like she's been through as much as I have after we got separated. It was hard to find the Christa I once knew inside of her - something has changed, but I had yet to know what it was. 

"Okay then, uh, Christa, was it?" Aasim continued. "Just what are you doing here? And who are you working for?"

"No one. I'm working for no one." Her voice quivered. "This is my home. At least it was until you all barged in here."

Aasim didn't look like he believed her. I shot everyone daggers in their directions as I came to Christa's side on the bed, moving a chair so I could sit next to her. A.J. was watching me intently in the background, not saying a word.

"Christa, I can't believe you're alive. I thought...I thought those scavengers killed you." I added regrettably, "I never got to thank you for covering me." 

"You're alive, Clementine." She looked at me and smiled. The first time she's done that since we came. "I thought you were dead, too..."

"What are you doing out here?"

She looked away from me and at the floor. Everyone around us was watching in silence, intrigued in my reunion with my old guardian. I was especially surprised to find Louis standing to the side, completely quiet. I'd have thought he'd make a comment by now. About something. _Anything_. The fact that he _hasn't_ is making me uncomfortable.

"They got me. I tried to run, but it wasn't any use. They cornered me on a rock and I couldn't jump. There was a river. It was going so rapid..." Her eyes looked completely drained. "I pleaded with them not to kill me. And they were about to until one of them told me to come with them."

She took a breath. I noticed her hands were shaking. I placed my hand on her knee and she smiled in return, relaxing under my touch.

"They brought me to their place and told me they were becoming bandits. Asked me to join them." She sniffled. "I had to. They were going to kill me if I refused. They made me do so many awful things. Steal from people. Aim guns at their heads." Her gaze shifted downwards again. "I even became their leader at some point."

My gaze softened. "Christa-"

"Oh, thank god. I thought you were going to lie about that." Aasim interrupted, getting everyone's attention. "Says in here you were leaving them. What brought that up?"

"You took my diary? What the hell kind of an asshole are you!?" She snapped, standing from the bed. "You break into my house and then you go through my shit?"

"Christa, they're with _me_. They don't mean ANY harm." I insisted. When I looked at them for approval, I was met with hesitant faces. They nodded in unison slowly, obliging her to sit back down and take a deep breath. She looked back at me and turned completely so we were facing each other.

"I did leave them. I didn't want to do all of their fucked up shit for them anymore. So I ran. Ran as far as I could and stopped when I found somewhere to hide. Decided to make this place my home. Refuge from the walkers. All by myself."

My frown deepened as she finished her story, feeling my heart sink as she told it. She suddenly turned back to me and smiled weakly, moving her own hand so it was on my knee. Then she looked at my face and climbed her palm up until it was in my hair. She ran her fingers through it and stopped when she felt my pigtails, shaking her head slightly.  

"You've grown so much. Lee would be so proud you've made it this far."

I went to smile, but the guilt overcame me. **Survivor's guilt.** Memories flooded of all the people in my head again - all of those who have died at my sake. I trembled as I held her arm. I could feel myself shaking and took a sharp breath, trying not to let myself break at the mention of Lee. Now that Lily is gone, she might...Christa just might be the last one to have seen him last besides myself.

"Is it okay if we stay here? We only need cover from some raiders we're hiding from. Blew up their place so they shouldn't be around long, but we don't want to risk it." 

She looked troubled at my question, but nodded anyway. "Of course. You and your...friends can stay as you long as you need." Her smile dropped. "I...I just need to tell you something later, is all."

I squeezed her hand and nodded gently before letting go. She returned it and rested back on the bed, turning so she could face the wall. When I looked around, I noticed the puzzled and surprised faces around me. I bit my lip and came forward, shrugging awkwardly.

"Well, you heard her. We can stay as long as we need to."

"Do you think it'd be appropriate to talk outside?" Ruby glanced at Christa's figure on the bed. "Just so it can be a little more private? Troubled kids to another?"

"Yeah, sure. We can talk outside." I agreed.

I followed them through the door and once we were out of earshot, they all surrounded me. A.J. came to my side automatically, looking like he had a lot of questions, too. I braced myself for what was about to happen. I knew how questionable this whole thing was, considering what just happened only an hour ago.

"Who's Christa?" A.J. was the first to ask. The rest of the kid's voices followed suit.

_"Yeah, she looks...kinda old." "She knew this Lee guy, too?" "I don't like her one bit. Her cursive is awful." "How do you know so many people, Clem?" "Can we trust her?" "I'm not sure what to think..."_

"Guys, guys." I stopped them by waving my hands. "I have no idea what Christa is like now. All I can tell you is she used to be my guardian. After my friend Lee died. She took care of me and we got separated after being ambushed. I haven't seen her since." 

"But will she, like, kill us in our sleep?" Louis asked. Before I could respond, Omar cut in.

"She said she worked for bandits. That's a red flag right there if I've ever heard one. How can we trust her just because she knows Clem? You guys know what happened last time!" He noticed my look and frowned. "Sorry..."

"She doesn't seem so bad. Kind of looks...frail, actually." Ruby added. "As fragile as a flower."

I frowned. Christa seemed like she was in bad shape. Her eyes looked different and she kept shaking. I hadn't even noticed how skinny she was underneath that baggy jacket. Her hair was a mess and she reeked of walkers...she looked the exact opposite of how I remembered her, coming to think of it. 

"We won't have to deal with her for very long if you don't like her." I told them. "We only have to stay for a few hours, maybe. In that time, we'll keep an eye out and make sure nothing suspicious happens. Deal?"

Everyone nodded in return. "Deal."

\--------------------------------------------------

There were some loud gunshots only an hour after that happened. We all ducked inside and remained as quiet as possible, hiding wherever we could. Christa seemed unfazed at the trouble we were exactly bringing. She even offered to look out of the window for us and let us know it was safe. Things were tense and, as I was sitting on the bed in the other room, all I could do was stare at the wall and hope that time would pass quickly. 

I heard the door open and turned, finding Louis in the doorway. He closed the door behind him and approached me. He waved weakly, managing a small 'hi'. I returned one that sounded pathetic. He sat beside me on the bed, only a couple of inches away from me. We both stared at the floor for a long time before he had the courage to muster up the first words. 

"So, how are _you_ feeling about using this place as shelter?" He motioned to the bullet holes in the wall and the broken glass in the corner. "Looks just as good as that boat. Can't be any better than a motel, right?"

"You'd be surprised." I had the courage to smile. "We don't really have a choice either way. This is the best we can get." 

"Ah, you're right. I forgot all about the luxurious, old, scratchy sheets and the leaking roof and the filthy bathroom. All we're missing now is the 5 star treatment of dead rats served on a silver platter." 

I nudged his arm, laughing a little. "Can you take this _seriously_? We may as well be hiding for our lives right now!"

"I'll start taking things seriously when you can admit that this place makes the boarding school look like a 5 star hotel."

"Louis, I swear to god--"

"Before you hit me, just remember that I carried you here!You can't be mad at me for risking my knees for you."

Before I could retort with anything sarcastic or witty, a voice interrupted us.

 _"You two seem close."_

We turned at the same time and found Christa standing across from us, wearing a tired but knowing smile. My palms grew sweaty as I attempted to think of a response. I don't understand why I feel this nervous. Louis teases everyone and even that still applies to me. But Christa was someone I knew from my childhood...someone I'd consider more of a family than I ever did with Lily.

Louis spared me the favor by doing one of his incredibly awkward replies. "And, uh, how long have YOU been standing there? Or are you just really quiet because I didn't hear a damn thing when you opened that door." 

She giggled, her throat sounding hoarse. "Don't worry about me. I just found you two pushing each other. I thought it was cute."

I cleared my throat and turned to her, resting my hand on Lou's shoulder as I tried desperately not to let the blush grow on my cheeks. "Christa, this is my...boyfriend, Louis."

Her eyes widened. He didn't know what to do except get up and offer her his hand awkwardly. I had to hold in my laugh. He was so stiff it almost made me cringe. But the tension disappeared as Christa took his hand and shook it, looking at him endearingly and smiling regardless.

"And you are...were...um, a close friend of Clementine?" He manages. "It's nice to meet someone from her past that isn't a murdering psychopath." 

She laughed again, except this time a snort slipped out of her nose. "You're a very charming young man. Where are you from?"

" _'Ericson's Boarding School for Troubled Youth'_ ," He recited formally, using a weird voice. "No idea how far it is from here, but I do NOT recommend staying because we've made some changes recently. Walker heads on sticks. Bags filled with bricks. People wearing walker skin. The usual, really."

Another noise escaped her throat and she had to shut her eyes. I watching this scene in amazement from the bed. Was Louis really...making her _laugh?_ Giving a good first impression? I have to give credit where credit is due. He's doing a lot better than I granted him for, initially. 

"You sound just like him." Christa's voice cracked. 

I can tell by the look on his face that he was confused. And I shared a similar look, peering at her quizzically from the bed. He leaned forward and tilted his head to the side, as if he didn't hear her right. "-Uh, _who_?"

"Omid. My boyfriend. Before he died years ago." She looked away. "He used to crack jokes like that all the time. I haven't laughed since the last time he was around."

"Oh." Louis looked to me for help. "I'm...sorry I brought up bad memories." 

Her eyes traveled to me and she took a step forward. I could hear her holding her breath. "I'm sorry that you had to see that, Clementine. When it happened, years ago."

I remembered it, now. When Omid got killed in the same room I was in. I saw him come through the door...try to walk to that girl quietly...before she turned around and shot him through the chest. He never got to say any last words. Or tell us goodbye. I still remember Christa shooting her after, sobbing and holding his body. Asking if she could hear him. 

"It's okay," I give her a weak smile. "I've seen more people die since then..." 

"Um, Clem, can I just say what the fuck?" Louis commented in the background. I didn't pay him any attention. It was disturbing to both say and hear, but it was the truth. Omid's death fazed me as a child, but it was nothing like Carver's death. 

"That child you're with..." Christa starts weakly. "Is he...yours and Louis'?" 

My eyes went so wide I thought they'd pop out of my sockets. I heard my boyfriend making surprised noises in the background and answered as fast as I could. "No! No, he isn't...A.J. was the child of...this woman I met. With this other man. It's-it's complicated." 

"Oh." 

Things go quiet. Lou comes back to sit on the bed and I notice he avoids eye contact with Christa. Neither of them look at each other. As I went to break this silence, she did it before I could.

"Clem, what I said I needed to talk to you about earlier-" She noticed Louis getting up and motioned him back down. "No, it's fine. I don't mind if you hear. Any boy Clementine loves is someone I can trust."

He still doesn't know what to say. She turns back to me and takes a deep breath. "Honey, the...the reason you all found me in that bath tub is because I...well, I was trying to end my misery."

"Misery?" I repeated.

She rolled up her shirt and her jacket to reveal the bite on the side of her stomach. I gasped loudly while Louis jumped completely off the bed, edging himself away as far as possible. I was too busy staring at it to hear him exclaim from the side. 

" _Holy shit_!" 

She put it down and quickly looked to the door. No one decided to come in despite Lou's outburst. I mentally thanked our luck as Christa turned back to me. The tears were starting to escape her eyes. 

"It happened this morning. When I went to find some food. Motherfucker sneaked up on me behind a tree." She clenched her fists angrily and took a breath. "The effects are getting worse...it's been going on for hours and, _fuck_ , I don't want to deal with it anymore. I don't want to turn into one of them."

Her eyes were full of tears by this point, her body shaking as she sniffled. I felt utter remorse for her. It hurts just knowing she ended with the same fate I've known so many others go through. There weren't many who have known me from the beginning. Realizing Christa will die and possibly end anyone who has known me since I was a child...it hurt me in a way I couldn't explain.

"I heard you and your friends come in. I didn't want to make any noise. I thought you were the people I left, finally finding me after all this time. I was just about to put a bullet through my head until you all found me in that bath tub." She looked quickly at Louis but came back to me, her lips wobbling. "But when I saw you, Clementine, I...I needed to know it was _really_ you. So I know you're still alive." 

My mouth was still hung open. I shut it.

"If I fire a gun now it'll just attract attention...and I don't want that for any of you." She looked up at me sadly. "I need to know if there's another way I can go. If-if you can help me." 

"Christa, I-"

"Please, Clementine...I know you've been through enough death as it is. I know what happened with Lee. I-I kept that picture that flew out of your backpack. It's in my desk drawer. I've been holding onto it ever since. In case we ever crossed paths again." 

My breath hitched in my throat. Louis was looking back and forth between us. I felt bad that he was caught in this situation - if I'd have known what Christa was going to ask me, I'd have told him to left the room sooner. I looked over and motioned to the door for him. He nodded once and proceeded to leave, closing the door quietly as he did. 

"Does he treat you good?" She asked me. I nodded. "Good...that's all I want. That he'll keep treating you well. And that what happened to Omid won't happen to you and him..." Her voice was getting weaker by the moment. "Clementine, I'm begging you..."

I gave in. "Okay...I'll try to make it as painless as possible for you. I'm sorry this happened, Christa. I'm sorry we got separated." 

"None of it is your fault, sweetie." Her lips curled into a smile. "You can leave my body...I just want to be with my sweet Omid again. Surviving in this world is nothing but hell."

I took the knife out of my back pocket slowly, looking it over before glancing back at her. I struggled thinking of the last words I was going to say to her. There was a lot I wanted to say her. I wasn't sure which would be worthy of being the last thing she'd hear. As she sat there helplessly on the bed, waiting for me to do the job, I let one sob escape my mouth.

"Thank you for everything, Christa. For looking after me...helping Lee find me..."

I didn't wait for her response. I struck her head. I had to shut my eyes when the blade went through her skull, in the area between her eyes and above her nose. When I heard her stop crying, I knew she was gone. With Omid and everyone else that left me - far away from here...

\-------------------------------------------------

I left the room and told everyone not to come in there. They were confused but listened, anyway. Louis came up to me with something in his hand. His face looked sad, but as he handed it to me, he wore a hopeful smile. The one he used to let me know that things were  okay. That there was still good left in the world. That even after I had to bring mercy to the woman that once looked after me, he was still here for me. 

I took it from him and my heart stopped once I saw what it was. The same picture I had so many years ago - the torn one with Lee on it from his family photo. The one I remember having back all the way to that drug store...gripped in my hand now. When I thought it was lost forever. 

"It was where she said it was." He cleared his throat. "A little blood on it, but it's still in good condition..."

I didn't know what to say. I heard A.J. come by my side and tug on my sleeve. I smiled once I saw him and leaned down to his sight, showing him the picture that I held in between my fingers. He knew who Lee was, but he had never seen him. Would never know what he looked like until now. 

"Hey, A.J. Ever wanted to know what Lee looked like?"

"Yeah!" He took the photo from me and looked at it, squinting slightly. "He looks...cool. Like a badass." 

I nodded. "Yeah. He was. The biggest badass I knew."  

He held onto it a little longer before returning it to me. I took it and let myself look at it again. Lee looked so happy in the photo. It was before everything began. Before I met him after he saved my life. Even after everything, I still remember him like this. Full of hope when I had none. Guiding me. Saving me. 

I felt a hand come into mine and looked at who it was. Louis smiled at me and gave me a little squeeze. I tried to squeeze back but I didn't have the strength. I realized I was crying. He did, too. He let go of my hand and frowned before hugging me. I closed my eyes and hugged back, opening my eyes through the tears and looking at the photo that was in my shaking hand. 

_Thank you, Christa..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll ever wonder what happened to Christa? I do. Have been ever since the second game. I've always had an issue they never determined her exact fate...I would've loved to see her reunite with Clem more than I did seeing Lily again. But like Molly, I guess we'll never know. 
> 
> I do see Clementine and Louis' relationship very, VERY similar to that of Christa and Omid. I really miss that guy - he was funny and made a good impression on Clem. She hasn't had anyone like Omid in her life for a long time until this season. And I'm glad for that. She needs more laughter in her life, don't you think?


	14. New Positives

**Louis' P.O.V.**

It wasn't a good sight when I found my girlfriend stagger inside of the room, supporting herself on a nearby wall and groaning slightly. I saw A.J.'s head poke out of the door as he came to her side to support Clementine. I stood from where I was and offered to help, but A.J. shook his head and insisted he had her. He assisted her onto the mattress and she took care of matters from there, resting  her head to the side and gazing at me through half-lidded eyes.

For a moment, no words were exchanged. She looked at me and I looked at her. I smiled to show that things were going to be okay. I knew they would be since we both made it out alive. A little worse for wear, but still _alive_. She returned the smile and shut her eyes, gritting her teeth as the pain came back. A.J. came to her side and rested his head on her shoulder, looking up at her in worry. 

I'd been waiting in her room for an hour as Ruby tended to her wounds. It took awhile before she returned, having so many injuries and Clementine's was among the worst experienced at the Delta's boat. Not only did I see her fight with Minnie and her struggle with Violet, but I heard she went hand-to-hand with Lily after we escaped. I wanted nothing more than to wait for her, comforting Clem the first thing after she was left to rest. 

I tried to make light of the situation. "Strong little dude, huh?" 

"He's as strong as they come." Clementine played along, ruffling A.J.'s hair. He smiled but said nothing as his mouth formed back into a frown. It was clear he wasn't in the mood. Even my smile dropped as I looked Clem up and down.

"How are you holding up? You looked real hurt." 

"Lily's gotten a lot stronger over the years." Her eyelids drooped. "She had me pinned against the wall. I was fighting for my life by the time that happened." 

"I was really worried you wouldn't come back. It seemed impossible to me, saving them and managing to escape. Especially since you were still there when the explosion went off." I couldn't even manage a light tone. The whole memory was just devastating. "I'm... really glad you're okay." 

"I don't know if Violet is. They were starting to brainwash her and I think she's still in love with Minnie...I don't even know if she got out okay. She won't talk to me." 

"Don't beat yourself up. She hasn't say a word to me, either." I clasped my hands together and stared at my boots. "That whole situation was fucked from the start. At least we got them back. And we stopped them from taking anymore kids." 

Clem didn't say anything. A.J. held her hand and she gripped it back. I watched them smile at each other, not exchanging any words and instead speaking through their eyes. I did the same thing with her before we left after our little 'date' - telling each other we'd make it through okay. 

"What about you?" Her golden eyes looked up at me, now filled with the concern I had for her. "I know you didn't want to kill that girl...It sounded like you shot by accident. You seemed a little shaken."

"That was the first time I killed somebody." I felt sick as the words left my tongue. "It wasn't intentional, but I had a weapon. I didn't want Minnie to kill you. I...I couldn't live with that if it happened. I saw her stab you and... _shit_ , I didn't know _what_ I was going to do." 

"You let fear take control of you," A.J. told me. 

My eyes widened. All I could do was nod slightly in agreement. "Yeah...I did."

"I let anger get to me. I didn't breathe. I didn't let it pass." He continued, drawing his eyes up to Clem slowly. "I shot Lily, but I did more than I needed to...I was just so mad after she hurt our friends. James looked like he didn't want to be my friend anymore."

"We'll talk about that later, A.J." I could tell how tense she was just by the sound of her voice. "What matters is we're back together. Things are different and we may have done things that we didn't need to do, but the important thing is we got out okay." 

I wanted to say more. Express my disbelief in Minnie, come to terms with the fact that she has been brainwashed. And killed Sophie. Marlon shed blood on our own people, but he wasn't the only one anymore. Hearing them want to make Clem one of their soldiers...it made my blood boil. I still can't get over everything that happened in those cells. I even remembered what A.J. did when I was pinned to the ground. 

"Thanks for what you did back there." I nodded to him. "You, uh, didn't have to eat someone's ear off for my sake. But I'm glad to know you have my back."

"I couldn't let them hurt my friend. And I know you have mine, too." He smiled.

I thought more of what else to say, rubbing the back of my neck as I recollected everything again. There was so much to think about. So much that happened. I wanted to think of it as a nice rescue mission for everyone from the beginning, but deep down I knew how horrifying it was actually going to be. 

"Clem?" I started, my hands shaking a little. "How did it feel when you first killed someone?"

Her eyes widened. She started, "Louis-"

"-I know, I know. It's really personal and shitty to talk about, but-" I felt my voice fail and took a moment to swallow, shutting my eyes tightly. "I-I need to know it's going to be okay..."

I couldn't see the look on her face, but I didn't exactly want to. As much as her little nods of encouragement helped me before, this was something I emotionally needed to sort out. I listened as she took in a long breath, holding it for a few seconds until she let it out. By that moment I regretted asking but she answered before I could stop her. 

"The first time I remember killing someone was when I was taken." I noticed she was looking away from me when I glanced up. "He had a gun aimed at Lee. I was out of his sight. I didn't have a choice. It was intentional, but only because I was protecting someone I cared about." 

"What happened?" A.J. asked. She shook her head. 

"He and Lee got into a struggle and all I heard was choking. It was either I shot him or the person I cared about would be killed. It wasn't easy to do. I was scared. I had just taken someone's life, but it was the life of a man who kidnapped a child knowing who he was taking her away from." Her voice hardened. "It changed me, but it taught me that protecting those you love is worth taking that chance."

I felt cold. I wanted to imagine myself in her situation - aiming a gun at a person who was hurting someone I loved. Someone...choking Clementine. Or pinning her against a wall. Or...trying to shove a knife through her chest while holding her onto the ground. Like Minnie did. And I sat there and shouted threats instead of taking the shot. I was scared and I didn't know what I was doing. I didn't want to hurt anybody. But if that woman hadn't have come, then...Clementine might have died. Because I was too weak to do what she does so easily. 

My silence opted A.J. to have his two cents. He sounded hopeful with his words, taking in the story better than I did. "You were really brave, Clem. I would've shot him, too." 

"That's not the point I'm trying to make. What I mean to tell you, Louis, is that no one's expecting you to move on from this. No one thinks that you'll walk out of there feeling like your usual self after this. It's different when you're being attacked, but I know how it feels killing someone who didn't pose as a threat just yet."

We both looked up at the same time, locking our eyes together. I expected her golden ones to be full of assurance and hope, but instead they were as clouded as mine was with feelings of guilt. She added to her words slowly. 

"But if you hadn't killed her, I might've died. That blade was getting closer to my heart. Dorian was going to let others know we were there. Accident or not, you taking that shot saved us and let you and the others escape. I understand it's not something you're going to be proud of, but if anything, I want to thank you for protecting me." 

I clenched my teeth. I was so close to crying. I couldn't do this in front of A.J. Not now. Not ever. It took a lot of strength not to get up and hug Clem and sob in her shoulder. I held myself down and spoke through my teeth.

"I didn't want to lose you, Clementine. Just thinking about it fucks me up so bad. How could I deal with that for the rest of my life? Just killing that woman it...it screwed me up so bad. I'm not strong enough for that." 

"I know you aren't, Louis...I wasn't, either. Not...for a long time." 

I looked up from my hands and noticed her frown. Her tone went soft. Even A.J. noticed her change. I cleared my throat and leaned forward, trying not to let myself go again. She was more important to me right now. It was easy to tell that there was something on her mind. 

"Is there something you want to talk about?" 

She bit her lip and looked in every direction but mine. She hung her head low to ruffle A.J.'s hair again but stopped when he looked unfazed. She wasn't fooling him. She wasn't fooling either of us. We both waited as she sighed, bringing her hands into her lap and finally looking up from the ground.

"I'm just remembering the last time I felt like you did." She shut her eyes. "All of the people I didn't want to lose, lost because of...me. All the people who have protected and helped me, and in return, they all died." 

"Clem?" My eyes focused on her, my tone lowered out of concern and in disbelief. "Do you have survivor's guilt?"

I had my answer the moment she took her eyes off of me. A.J. and I looked at each other. We had the same look plastered on both of our faces. She crossed her arms and we both turned back to her. There was a guilty look about her eyes. 

"How could I not? So many people have died because of me." She clenched her jaw. "Everywhere I go, there becomes less people. Until the only one left is me. Everyone around me dies, but I don't. I think I'm a jinx."

"That's not--"

"Violet was telling me, back in that cell, how ever since I've gotten here, people have just died. And they keep dying. Marlon, Brody, Mitch... _I'm_ the problem for fighting back. Minnie told me that when she was trying to kill me." She looked away mournfully. "Why shouldn't I believe them?"

"None of that is your fault, Clementine!" I exclaimed. "Marlon gave away our own people behind our backs and lied about it. And that happened before you were ever _here_. And he would've kept doing it if you hadn't come along. Those raiders would've taken all of us eventually, and if you hadn't come and led us against them, then we'd be brainwashed, murdering soldiers by now." 

"Even _you_ believed I was the cause of everything." Her words stabbed into my heart. "You wanted me gone. Because I learned what Marlon did, he and Brody died. And because I made you guys fight, Mitch died. You were right to want me gone...more people were bound to die soon." 

"Clem, don't talk like that." I got up and stood over her. "I  know what I believed was wrong. You weren't the cause of anything. You just got caught up in Marlon's bullshit and, and the raiders were a threat ever since he negotiated with them." 

I put my hands on my hips in distress. I can feel myself getting worked up. I was fuming just hearing her saying these things. "-I don't want you to take responsibility for shit. The only people you killed were the ones who tried to take us. And you even saved Aasim's life! You aren't a jinx of anything."

I didn't realize how hot I was until I felt her hand touch mine, her skin unusually cold. I stopped in the midst of my ranting to turn to her. She looked concerned. But for what? I was defending her name against all the bullshit everyone's been pinning against her. Accusations even I was guilty of. But I knew they were wrong now. I wanted to emphasize that. 

"No, Louis, this has been going on long before I even came here." 

I lifted an eyebrow. She noticed my interest and scooted over to pat the spot beside her. I took the invitation very slowly, setting myself on the mattress and looking over at her wearily. A.J. was silent. I held my breath as I watched Clem close her eyes again. She didn't say anything nor opened them for a solid minute.

"It wasn't just Lee who died because of me." She confessed. "I've lost...others, at my own sake. And everyone I've been around has died, too. Sometimes, I don't even have to do anything to cause it. It just...happens. Whenever I come across groups, they always seem to be doing fine and have survived with their people for so long. But the moment they let me join them, things turn for the worse." 

"That...that _can't_ have any correlation to you." I commented apprehensively. "Just because-"

"-Not finished." She held up a finger. "After Lee, I was left with two guardians. One of them died because I left my gun on a counter in a bathroom. It was taken by a girl who was wanted my things and ended up shooting my guardian by mistake. If I hadn't have left that gun there and brought it with me, that wouldn't have happened."

"But you didn't-"

She stopped me again. By now I realized I had to keep my arguments to myself until her story was done. I shut my mouth again and refrained the urge to roll my eyes in frustration. She continued on as A.J. scooted closer, holding onto her side, fascinated with the story. 

"I was fending for myself after I was separated from my other guardian. I was...bitten by this dog I found in a camp. I thought it was friendly until I found food, then it attacked me. I tried to find help before I'd bleed out to death. I was saved by these two men, but when they saw the bite, they thought it was a walker who had gotten me."

She rolled up her sleeve of one arm and showed it to me. I just now noticed the large scar. I winced and wondered how I hadn't seen it sooner. 

"They brought me back to their people. One of them was a doctor. He couldn't tell it was a dog bite and didn't want to take any chances. So they left me out in a shed in case I'd turn. I needed medical help or things weren't going to end well. I had to sneak in and steal their supplies...I sewed it by myself."

"Oof." A.J. cringed. "Didn't that hurt?" 

"It did. Hurt like **hell** , actually." She gripped her arm and I made a face similar to A.J.'s. "It was tense with them, but they decided to take me in. When I was with that group, I thought I found a stable home with people I could rely on. But it was far from that. While they were gone some day, a man came to the cabin asking where his people were. I didn't like him. And I learned his 'people' were the ones I was staying with. We had to flee otherwise he would come back, and we eventually found a lodg-"

She froze. Her eyes went wide and she abruptly shut them again, clutching at both of her sides. I leaned forward and held onto her arm, trying to get a better look at her. She didn't say another word. 

"What's wrong?" I asked. 

"I...I found Kenny." My heart stopped when I saw a tear leave her eye. "He...he was good friends with Lee and looked after me0 Helped me protect A.J. Anyway...when we had to defend the lodge from walkers, another group found us. And it had that same man from the cabin. That man turned out to be the leader of a community who used his aggression to keep people in line. I helped take him and his people down, but on the way, many people died."

I wanted to react to everything she just told me, but I couldn't. She continued right away with the story, giving me no time to breathe, really.

"A.J. and I came into contact with another community called the New Frontier. They were made up of survivors, but they weren't kind, either. They took A.J. from me when he was just a baby, and I had to leave them. Apparently after their people started dying, they began to raid other communities. They were doing...awful things. I teamed up with Javier to take them down, and even though we did, so many people died in the process...like with that other community." 

"All of those people I was with, so many died. Either because of me or I came along. A little of Javi's family survived, but other than that, not many people did. Just because of me, two communities were wiped out along with several innocent people. Anyone I come across either turns or gets killed. It's never any different."

"That's not true," A.J. piped in, hugging her arm. "You still have me."

She rested her hand over his and smiled, nodding slowly. "Yeah. I do."

I looked around on the floor as I held in a breath, still taking in the story. "But-But all of that was bullshit! Didn't it piss you off that these communities were already shit BEFORE you came along? It's better that they're gone, isn't it?"

"I think so. But there were others that sided with them. Because they were being protected or were manipulated into thinking their ways were right. There are very little communities that rely on kindness and family to run things. That's why I didn't want to cause you guys any harm."

Her hand inched towards mine, entwining our fingers as she looked up into my eyes. 

"That's why, when you and the others wanted us gone, I didn't fight back. I knew it was for the best. More of you would die if I was around for any longer. But I didn't want to see you guys becoming into these people. I knew I was bad luck, but I had to stop you from turning into of them."

The breath left my throat as her words sunk into my heart. "-I didn't want to see you in their hands, Louis. You've shown me that humanity and kindness still exists. I only believed people thrived on being hard and supporting themselves is what would make it in the apocalypse, but you taught me that life is still worth enjoying, even when it seems to be meaningless." 

"Clem..." I was too weak to manage any other words.

"I had to adapt to killing. It's how I've survived. It's not something I'm proud of, but the sacrifice is worth defending people you love. I just hope you can realize that someday."

Her thumb rubbed against mine. I was so numb I barely felt it. 

"You're going to be okay. We all are. I understand if it's going to haunt you for awhile, but at some point you'll move on from this. I promise, Louis."

A tear rolled down my cheek. I shut my eyes when they began to sting, clenching my teeth as a few more escaped. My grip must've weakened because I felt her squeeze my hand. I smiled feeling that and slowly opened them again, blinking away the moistness until she wasn't blurry anymore. This was all I could do in this situation - smile and hold her back. 

I was usually the one trying to make others feel better, yet Clem had just done the same for me. And she's probably right - this isn't going to last forever. She's been through more shit than I have since this all started. I didn't believe it until now, but what I did helped get everyone back and prevent the worst from happening. I 

"There's just one thing I have to know," I told her sincerely, watching her heartfelt expression turn into a serious one. "If you're such bad luck, then how come I've never been happier until you came into my life?"

She swatted me away. "Louis-"

I reached for her hands, shaking my head. "No, I'm not joking. I'm...I'm serious, Clem." She stopped fighting. "You can't be a jinx if you've made someone's life a million times better. And believe me, you have." 

She looked away, biting her lip slightly. "Are you sure?"

"I'm positive that lying to my girlfriend would end with some serious repercussions." I sat back and grinned coyly, rolling my eyes to the side. "Yes, I'm sure you've made my life a lot better, Clementine." 

"I don't think you're a jinx either, Clem." A.J. added, squeezing her arm tightly. "You've made my life really good, too!" 

She grinned at us both before I felt her hand climb around my shoulder and squeeze me closer to her, her other hand wrapped around A.J. My arm rested over her frame and I took a moment to gently graze my cheek over hers, feeling the dampness of two tears that had managed to slip from her eyes. I could hear her speaking under her breath, the words barely above a whisper. 

_"I'm so lucky to have both of you guys."_


End file.
